• Deserted

    My heart doesn't cry with pain no moreMy heart cries with rage You promised me lovethen took it awaywhen I needed you most Abandoned, aloneim scared I'll never find love again  I've had to take myself into my own handsand never give up 

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    Tags:
    loss
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  • What happend to me!?!

    I haven't always been an angry person, I always thought I was quite chilled out about life and the little things never really bothered me. But the past 2years, things have changed. I now feel as if I have no control over how I see or view things, and then that sends me into anger over drive. What's changed?? I hear you ask. I can think of a few things, diteriation in my health making me ...

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  • Gutted.

    I'm disillusioned. I'm fed up. The only thing I have passion for is creativity, but nobody's hiring someone on the basis of sheer love for a craft alone. They want degree certificates, three years experience. They discouraged pursuit of creative endeavours at school, selling science as 'guaranteed future' but I'm sat here with one and a half degrees - half, because to be honest I don't even know if I'll make it to the end ...

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    Tags:
    dealing with past experiences,
    depression,
    Sad,
    unhappy
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  • What's behind it all?

    I am so rarely angry now.  I can't really remember the last time I felt pure rage.  Maybe irritation or frustration, but not anger.  Not for a while.  But then a couple of days ago he asked me what I thought was underneath my anxiety.  What was it that lurked behind it making me so afraid.  And I told him it probably came down to school.  Obvious I know, but true nonetheless.  I told him ...

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  • Mathematics

    My conscience must balance the following personal equation to zero. It goes... I would have welcomed less and existed better in a more equal and more truthfully, transparent society. And then… however I would now recoil at having less in a less equal and increasingly more unfair world as I experience its injustice like a whip.As fairness and unfairness and the equality and inequality, along with the truth move up and down in politician's voices ...

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    Tags:
    Anger,
    Reasonable
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  • Grinch

    I am so annoyed.How can hospitals mess up so badly? How can they make one person go through 3 heart operations in four weeks? How can he keep getting infected?Why can't he be the happy, healthy man he should be. Why is life so cruel.It is Christmas for goodness sake, feels more like the Grinch stole Christmas.Let's hope the New Year is better!

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  • I dont know who I am

    I DONT RECOGNISE MYSELFAt 37 years old I do not know who I am.I am still Suzanne, a mum of 4 children but that is all that remains of the person who 18 months ago was diagnosed with PND. Gone is the happy, content busy working mum with a nice home and loving partner and she has been replaced by an angry single stay at home mum who sometimes still struggles through the day.Dont get me ...

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    Tags:
    #Depression,
    #Anger
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  • I'm tired of feeling lonely

    TIRED OF FEELING LONELYThe pain is overwhelming, I feel it in my heartIt seems to come from nowhere, but there must have been a start.I don't want another's pity or hear there tragic storyI've barely got enough strength to carry my own worry.It rarely seems to leave ...

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  • The Anger Within

    Anger is an interesting one with me. I do have anger issues and I think that comes with the territory when suffering with depression, but we all have anger within in us as we need it as human beings and it is there to protect us along with emotions such as anxiety and disgust.I’m not your obvious angry person as my personality is shy, quiet and introverted. I almost never get into arguments with people ...

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  • The Great Divide

    The Great Divide Mother son of a rich worldSixteen classic cars in the garageand three on the country estate drive Mother son of not a stich worldRailway overpass, a home, one hand on the begthe other sifting garbage, probably won’t see 25 The Great Dividethat separates, us and themThe sky and oceans wideblind ladies and blind gentlemen Mother son of a bitch world read more

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  • Despair No More

    Despair No MoreWhen life takes a turn so menacingly,  to be filled only by sudden DESPAIR. The unendurable pain and sufferings caused by unforeseen circumstances and malicious acts. The outcome of one's future left in the hands of manipulation. The fear of being taunted by those you trusted,staring instead into the faces of strangers.No longer aware of their true intentions, the mind confused and skeptical of everything it once confidently knew and believed. A muddled ...

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  • What Makes You Angry

    Pain makes me angry.  Pain that stole my life - overly dramatic, I know.  And yet - I could still have been useless with my health.  Shut up, you self-pitying arsehole.  Somewhere to be safely angry would be good.  I tend to shout at the news - often armed with the fish slice as I'm also cooking dinner but it's not really enough.  I'm afraid of hurting people.  Doesn't stop me thinking it, though.  If ...

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  • When you see me........

    My face:My face is not pretty, but it's the only one I've got.Since childhood I have been told to 'cheer up', 'whats up with you', 'get out of bed on the wrong side then', 'oh, you look happy at school/work',  'it might never happen'.I have what is termed as a hangdog expression, bit like droopy dog (look him up) or Eeyore, so even if I feel ok, fine, good I still get the comments.Yes it ...

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    Tags:
    happy,
    sad,
    Face
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  • Pablo 1.2

    "Strength is what we gain from the madness we survive." That first timeI was passing glasswhere greyhounds pantone eye openon a poorly fitted rollerblindcalled on thrice to usher intwin undertakers -Noah's boys                   measuring the stairs All the bullfighters are pissedgoredwe never much cared for themregardlessthose rained on Spanish sketches Pablo was another matter A cold filled rolla hardboiled migraine, a tabloidresting uneasy on the margins dislocating how we lurch, fastsectioned at the raceswhere long odds accumulatethe running gag - 13, ...

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  • ADHD, PTSD, ANXIETY

    I am really struggling at the moment, I feel so down.Lately my anixety has been really, really bad. Everything is setting me off into a blur of not being able to breathe, not being able to see straight. Not being able to cope. People are convinced I have ADHD as well. Do you have any idea how it feels having people judge me and say I have this problem and that problem. No one understands what it ...

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    Tags:
    anxiety,
    Drowning,
    help
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  • The Wild One

    Anger to me is a useful tool, if used in the right wayWhat angers me most is people who forget their roots, and the way they were brought upChange is good, if it benefits your wellbeing, and does not put upon othersI have always been one for the underdog, and people who can't put their case forwardWhen I was at St Vincents College, Langbank, I will always remember the Bishop AbulaSaying to me, what are ...

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    Tags:
    Anger
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  • The Tangled Headphones

    The Tangled Headphones I lay in bed last night & tried to calm the swirling chaos that is my mind. I tried to put a name to it, to describe what my head was like, and all I could think of was tangled headphones. The kind that have been in your bag for months and are an unrecognisable mess of knots that are intricately woven and will take a lot of work, effort and time ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    mind,
    headphones
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  • Your Problem

    I am never an angry person but the one thing that does make me super angry is when people use mugs for juice. Mugs are meant for hot drinks such as hot chocolate and coffee. I have realised that stems from because my mum puts juice in a cup. Well she claims it juice. Juice with alcohol. She claims its juice or water but I know the signs of her body language. I got used ...

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    Tags:
    families,
    Family,
    alcohol
  • No DSS, No Pets.

    Trying to get a flat. But there's no social housing. And the medical points are only for folk with physical disabilities, you know, the REAL ones. So I'm stuck in private renting. And nobody wants you cos you're on 'DSS' even though that doesn't even exist anymore. And technically the Housing Benefit comes to me first, so I could pay my rent out of my own money and spend the housing benefit on food or ...

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    Tags:
    Home,
    housing,
    dss,
    pets
  • The Career Ladder is Sometimes a Lily Pond.

    Ten years ago I volunteered for a innovative new charity organisation in a big city. It was one of the best experiences with work I've had. I volunteered there for 6 months in total, I had to leave because my finances meant I had to focus on full time paid work. A while after I left, a job came up there as part of the admin team. It wasn't the department I'd been volunteering in ...

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    Tags:
    Rejection,
    Bitter,
    Job,
    Work,
    Career
  • What writing means to me.

    Writing gives me the freedom to express how I feel when I am at my most confused and vulnerable. The support and encouragement that I get from my 'Writing to Recovery' group gives me the opportunity to really explore the conflicting, overwhelming emotions that come from being on this journey. Through attending these meetings, I have re-discovered my passion for writing, and it has now became an invaluable coping mechanism for me. From subjects such ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    thoughts,
    inspiration,
    confidence,
    sharing
  • What makes me angry

    What makes me angry Being trapped Being afraid No space for escape Polite conventions Keeping the balance Tongue tied in a knot to keep the thoughts inside Why is my voice so unimportant? Secondary to everyone else Where can I be heard? Are my feelings so unimportant I must defer to others Why do they not consider their impact on those around them Someone else, me, tidying up in the aftermath.

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  • Not always "out there"

    I had recently filled out a questionnaire by SRN and was wondering why I had stopped writing and using the site since the initial experience had been good for me. The truth is, after having written a positive upbeat piece about my hope of returning to work in an environment and in a role where my experience of mental ill health might prove a benefit or at least be understood. I was to be confronted ...

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    Tags:
    stigma,
    employment,
    angry
  • the r word

    it really makes me angry that rapists almost never get punishment. it makes me angry that their actions are excused. it makes me angry that the victims are never believed, they are always vilified.

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  • Be thankful

    I was abandoned as a child, I suffered a childhood I wouldn't wish on any other human but I am alive, I breath and a wake up each day to a new opportunity and for that I am grateful, I am lucky. One thing that makes me angry is ungrateful people who ruin each opportunity offered with each new day. People who remain fixated on their negative experiences and refuse to accept many others have ...

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    Tags:
    #Recovery,
    #newday,
    #bethankful
  • Tiredness you got me!

    I wake in the morning and feel refreshed. I might not have plans but I hope something will inspire me and I will be off out to conquer the day, But you take over me, My body starts to feel heavy and my eyes struggle to stay opened. I yawn uncontrollably. Tiredness you are taking me down AGAIN. But I havnt been out yet, How can you possibly need to rest AGAIN? Are you telling ...

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    Tags:
    Routine,
    Awake,
    Living,
    Tiredness,
    Plans
  • Cage (War Inside My Head)

    Please Note: This Story Discusses Suicide. Why are you still here? Was there ever a time when you weren't? I never asked for you to be here, why can't you go away? You say that you're my ally and that you're my only friend, why do you corrupt me? They're not against me. You have a silver tongue that tells me lies, yet when I try to overpower you and resist, I always lose. You ...

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    Tags:
    Suicide,
    Depression,
    Anger
  • Cancelled Plans

    I hate when people let me down, especially at the last minute. It can really trigger me and make me feel abandoned. I suppose I am not as bad now as I used to be. I used to be quite self destructive when someone let me down but I have learnt how to cope a bit better and not to take things so personally. After all I cancel on people at the last minute too. ...

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    Tags:
    Plans,
    Abandonment,
    Destructive,
    Coping,
    Self-Harm
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  • Spell out ANGER

    ANGRY...Anger...what's it all about?..Just a five lettered word... An emotional state.. with a strength that knows no bounds..that can consume..at any given time.. releasing a sea of blood red rage..that rips the throat and leaves the body lifeless,drained after its attack.. A- Abuse situations of all types,..mental, emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, child, vulnerable persons,animal, alcohol, drugs, medication. N- Negativity eats at the soul and destroys any hope of joy. G- Grievous bodily and psychological ...

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  • Flood Barriers

    Flood Barrier -14/7/14 What is there now, to be taken at the flood? My life is bound in shallow and though pleasing streams I mourn there seems no larger sea for me to sail or find new land I'm at that time of life when, while not OLD as such I realise there's more behind me than there is ahead And daring deeds take less than second-place to smaller acts of empathy instead. Am I ...

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  • Phrases

    Get over it.....What have you got to be depressed about? those 2 phrases seriously get my back up!! If I knew the answers I wouldn't be feeling the way I do! People really think its super simple and it really isn't, I don't think they realise that my brain is completely fogged, it feels like Spaghetti Junction in there! I don't want to feel like this but if I could stop it I would!

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    Tags:
    phrases,
    anger,
    brainfog