• The Inner Critic

    My inner Critic Confusion reigns, what do i feelJust what if anything is realI'm stupid, its futille, i always think the sameI need to find a way to get my head back in the game. Positivity is not a skill thats natural minethe thoughts of other people far too easily definei need to find a way to shift myself from dark to lighti need to let it go and fly and not hold on so tight. so i ...

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    Tags:
    #free,
    #happytobeme,
    #theinnercritic
  • Ups and Frowns

    Ups and Frowns Recovery is ongoing,There often is no end,Many things i require,To help my head mend, Life is undulating,Like the geography of the land,Like the cycle of the seasons,Like the weather on my hand, So if nature is ever changing,Why should i be so still,Noting my character & journey,Will take many quivers of the quill, Today's path is more even,My battles far less raw,The result of all I've learnt,From the tools within my drawer, One ...

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  • Future changes

     When I was small,I had no worries at all.On the back of my mother and father,I got all the love, knowledge, stregnth and security I could gather. Then BANG!!!My new life had began.At only seventeenI saw life through a different screen. Not the future of presumption,Not with this disruption.Doctors, nurses, needles and scansNot university, parties and tans. My stregnth went into hiding,On the back of my parents,I was no longer riding. Show yourselfDont wait around on the shelfNow the ...

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  • The Way Out

    It is only scary when there is no direction. Even times when I've felt lost, deep in virgin forest, it's okay as long as there is a sense of purpose and direction driving me somewhere.The scariest parts of the journey have been the times I have cast off purpose and chosen to walk blindly, randomly into the dark; stopped noticing where I was going.Stopped wondering where I'd find myself next .Stopped plotting my progress on ...

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  • Back In The Room

    Ground Yourself. Back in the Room.4-7-8.Breathe and continue.  “What was that like for you?”Time stops.I can no longer disconnectfrom my difficulties.I can no longer disconnect myself from the words that tumble out of my mouth.A Voice. Aloud withPeace and PainIntertwined identity. I sweat out confessions that unravel from my mind.My throat is a clogged up drainof memories I would rather forget.I speak. I remember. I regret it.Legacy of Altas in my bloodI carry round guilt as my rucksack.Until NowRepenting sinswith pen and paper in handwas ...

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    Tags:
    #recovery,
    #challenge,
    #talking,
    #speakyourtruth,
    #facingfear
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  • Me

    Please note: this story references suicidal thinking

    Feeling like i have an alter egoI try to find me and wonder where did me goTrying to decide who is the real meAlter ego or not will i ever see The layers are many and thickI don't know which me is me to pickThis makes me feel lost and confusedIsolated and bemused Am i the me that's trapped as a childThe young boy onto whom misery was piledAm i the me that is the young boy ...

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    Tags:
    life,
    history
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  • Hang on

    When you think you're not coping it means you arereach to othersand don't give up hope a solution could be foundor a least survival technique look aroundyoure not alone find your gang and hang on x      

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    Tags:
    hope
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  • So you think you can touch me

    So you think you can touch mescare me, bring me downwear my heart in your mouthOr in your headwear the crown WellI've  got something to tell youyou'll never win this fighti can see beneath your charmYou're a shackler of the night 💪🏼   

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    Tags:
    Power
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  • In The Moment

    Please note: this story talks about self harm

    When I am trying to ride out self harm urges I feel like my insides are twisting in on themselves.         I shake and feel like I can't stand another second of being in my skin, it feels like torture, the kind that makes you so frustrated you want to cry.     My mind repeats graphic bloody imagery over  and over convincing me                      ...

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    Tags:
    #selfharm,
    #ridethewave,
    #distress,
    #feelings,
    #urges
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  • The Past

    You took my soulWhen you left meAlone and heartbrokenNo more to liveNo more to giveI Can’t find my peaceI’m searching for myselfI’m with careful thoughtI’ll never returnI’ll never to  be bought x 

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    Tags:
    loss
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  • Jane

    You saw me through the windowA reflection of my past Our eyes met linked together Home at lastWe strarted on our journeyWe continue to this day A true friendSo hard to find Let it always be this way x*   

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    Tags:
    friendship
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  • Captain Hope

    The storm raged as the crew held desperately to the sides of the ship,Debris whipping through the dark, tumultuous, spitting skyFar bigger than the crew, their looming ship seeming little more than another danger to their fragile souls as its slippery and splintery body pierced their skin and betrayed their clasping arms.The captain alone stood by the steering wheel, barking orders to their crew to maintain the ripped and ragged sail."Not long now, sailors! See ...

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    Tags:
    hope,
    recovery,
    prose,
    short story
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  • Out of homelessness into hope

    Please note: this story references suicide.

    Initially life was good. I believed I grew up in what appeared to be a loving family. However my family were either using or selling drugs. For me I thought that was normal. Sure everyone was using heroin. As I got older I knew this wasn’t the case and that it was wrong. Drugs destroyed the life of so many of my relatives and I knew this life wasn’t for me.I tried to ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    Mental Health,
    Homelessness
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  • Mother

    This story references abuse.

    You had me but i never had youWhy did you do the things that you'd doWhy was i made to feel like the outcast of the familyCouldn't you see the effect it would have on me You and my father filled my youth with fearEvery time you both were nearI couldn't make a noise when you had a napToo scared to talk or even run a tap As long as you got to your bingoIn Castlemilk or the ...

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    Tags:
    the,
    past
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  • Soul Satisfaction

    I'm searching for a soul satisfactionDirection, Creation and ReactionFrom The Power deep withinForgiving of all sins Buried deep within The SecretAll my pains and regretsWaiting on the time to re-appearReady for my soul to hear Believeing in The UniverseThis life isn't a dress re-hearseTake the first steps and you will findA better peace in mankind The meaning of joy in our soulTo make us wholeThis feeling may be celestialMaybe it could even be terrestrial I'll keep searching for that ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery
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  • The Wound

    Some days it catches my scent, then it's on my trail all day, driving me over the edge of the steepest cliff, clipping at my fingers as I cling on, holding onto composure. I feel open and raw to the world, people speak and I sting, my mind is a damn to the floods of emotion and it aches with the strain. Those days fighting back tears for ten hours out in the world, while people look into ...

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  • Regret

    Regret postpones lifeIt holds you in the past like a viceTakes a hold and won't let goEats you up and takes your soul But you have to live life with no regretAnd look to the future you haven't lived yetI have some time left that isn't in the pastI"m going to make my future last The past is our knowledge and the present our mistakeThe future we always leave too lateBut i have come to my sensesAnd i'm ...

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    Tags:
    the,
    future
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  • Father

    I've now outlived my father of 48This past year has been a disaster brought by fateThis stirs up strange feelingsAnd at times has left me reeling I've outlived Lennon, Elvis and my DadI've mixed feelings....am i happy or sadI've no reason to be overjoyedBut these feelings i can't avoid So where do i go from hereI don't have my father to give me a steerI feel empty at the thoughtBut i have memories...that's all i've got I've lived ...

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    Tags:
    surviving
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  • 22:25 (29/11/13)

    Nightmares that make me cryNightmares of those who've diedTheir spirits are so clearWhen i wake i believe those who've gone are still here Then i realise that they're notThe realisation makes my heart briefly stopIt stops because of the painKnowing things will never be the same again The pain is so upsettingI'm filled with things that i'm regrettingWhy the others and not meWhy did The Universe let me be It was as if there was an invisible line ...

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    Tags:
    surviving
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  • I Am The Thing That Tries

    Everything felt like an injury.Every day felt like it would be framed and displayed forever.Every time I made a mistake I felt that mistake was who I was as a person.But I am the space in between the mistakes. I am the thing that tries, not the thing that fails.I am me on my best days. That is the part of me that can steady myself and see the perspective, that knows that mistakes shrink ...

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    Tags:
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  • Price I Pay

    Sleep comes as no reliefIt gives grudgingly through gritted teethMaking sure there is a price to payIf i want to get through night to day It ensures it gives me nightmares and fearsMaking sure i wake in floods of tearsRemembering vividly what i've dreamtAnd leaving me to figure out what it meant The price of sleep is much too highHypervigilence, nightmares, exhaustion......no matter how much i tryTeasing me through the dayBut nightime is when it goes all ...

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    Tags:
    fear
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  • Inspiration

    Blaine is my inspirationHe is also my determinationTo overcome my struggled pastAnd get busy living.....fast I want to see his future unfoldI want to see him as i grow oldFrom the first word he says To his first school days To see him become whatever he desiresAnd see him light his life's firesTo watch him look to the skies aboveTo see him smile and find true love I want Blaine to know he can wake up the nationBlaine will always ...

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    Tags:
    the,
    future
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  • Leap of Faith

    Leaving my job may be my biggest leap of faithWill I be able to fill the spaceLeaving behind all the responsibilityAnd believing in my future ability Will I still have a valueIn everything I say or doI always let my job define meWill I be able to let it be Will I cope with what the future bringsI look at my past and see how i've handled thingsWill I miss the stress and fearOr will I simply enjoy each day i'm here I long for ...

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    Tags:
    #future
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  • Cake On The Stairs

    Cake on the stairsLike no-one caresBlaine, mum and meOn the stairs us three Squeezing in to where Blaine saysAs he draws and playsTelling us to take a seatThese are the memories that i'll keep Telling us he wants more pensConcentration so intenseAs he draws in his padSitting beside his mum and dad Loving his cubes of cakeAs much in his mouth that he could takeStopping only to take some juiceThirst his only excuse When he's finished he'll shout for ...

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    Tags:
    hope
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  • Superman

    People have said i'm an inspirationI take that comment with hesitationI feel like Superman weighed down with KryptoniteBut like Christopher Reeves i'll fight the fight As John Lennon says 'I believe in me'I believe in what i want to beI want to find an inner peaceAnd teach my wounded soul to be at ease I know i want to keep on keeping onI want to keep on until i'm goneI will be here for my son BlaineAnd ...

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    Tags:
    #future
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  • Hope

    What is life without hopeIt's like a shower without soapWithout hope there is nothingWe all need to want something What is life without hopeIt's like the sea without boatsWithout hope there is nothingWe all need to love something What is life without hopeIt's like freezing in winter without a coatWithout hope there is nothingWe all need to need something What is life withour hopeIt's like elections without a voteWithout hope there is nothingWe all need to stand for ...

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    Tags:
    Hope
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  • Sometimes

    Sometimes it snows in May but summer always comesSometimes it feels like the world has stopped but it always turnsSometimes it feels like the mountain can't be climbedBut Everest is conquered all the time Sometimes it feels like hope and despairSometimes i never want to go thereSometimes i think i will never overcomeBut men with no legs can still run Sometimes it feels like the sun will never riseSometimes it feels like there's no hope in my ...

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    Tags:
    Hope
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  • Boat

    Fishing with Peter early on ThursdayWhat a beautiful sunrise to start the dayI sat admiring the view on the pierTrying to contain my excitement and fear The sunrise was such a beautiful sightIt must give hope at the end of each nightEverything was quiet and calmIt's like a peaceful shot in the arm The sea was as still as iceA view i simply can't describeMoving at speed along the surfaceAmazement written all over my face Stopping to throw in ...

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    Tags:
    Hope;,
    Discovery
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  • FD 18

    Fathers DayWhat a wayTo spend with my sonAnd his beautiful mum To wake up in the sunshineAnd realise what is mineTo be loved by them bothMore than Blaine loves toast We went for brunch at PosadoniaAnd it rained like it does in CaledoniaThe streets were filled with deep puddlesAnd in shop doorways we would huddle Uo to the bakery for some crepes and chocolate cakeSome chocolate mint ice-cream Blaine would takeTeasing me with his thoughts of sharingBut instead ...

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    Tags:
    surviving,
    Hope; Thriving
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  • Courage

    CourageAll I need to say is"I need your help. Could you please come over and make me a cup of tea, I can't do it myself."You see that all of my limbs are intactso you don't understand why you need to travel half an hour through the cityto make me tea.What you don't seeis that my brain has turned deep dark blue.The air around me has doubled in densityI can't push through it.That's ...

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    Tags:
    #InvisibleSickness,
    #AskingForHelp
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  • My Oscillator

    Can my resilience get stronger through repeated episodes of distress and fortify me once the storms have subsided? Can adversity help me and make me strong? Do I expand as a man and am I changed a little after it happens?It is certainly an enduring experience I can not avoid. So I must hope I will embrace distress when it comes rather than run away from it. There is maturity in the affliction and the ...

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    Tags:
    recovery,
    journey
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  • Ascent

    Each day i wake at the foot of the mountainWhen alli want is to drink from life's fountainKnowing i'm going to climb through rocks and rubbleTrying to conquer my fears and trouble Each night i reach the mountain's peakBut of my troubles i did not speakTo speak of them would make them realThen people would judge me and how i feel The ascent takes all day and nightBut inside my head it's a continual fightI keep repeating ...

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    Tags:
    survival
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  • Devils Chase

    Please Note: This piece has dark themes

    Every day i run the Devils ChaseI stare into his dark and evil faceHe stares back with his empty eyesTelling me 'it's your time to die' I run and run but can never escapeI'm always within his sight, his reach.....and gapeHe pulls me back by the shirt tailInto every disaster and trauma without fail Making me feel my time has comeKnowing that the devil i cannot outrunThis is it now he has me in his graspI feel ...

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    Tags:
    fear,
    survival,
    panic;
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  • Artificial Intelligence

    BIt by bit, atom by atom, I'm being broken down. Double helix separating, tearing me apart. I don't feel human anymore. Half robot half zombie, I stumble on. I reject human contact, their complexities scare and bemuse me. I'm impervious to their emotional states, or so I think. Wires cross, my artificial intelligence short circuits. Numbness giving way to the grasp of pins and needles. Brain and body overloaded, my faulty wiring can't cope with the ...

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    Tags:
    #surviving
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  • Please Don't Give Up

    I read your words I cry and sighDon't give upDepression is a lie I read your words You want to die You can't see your true selfHe makes you cryBut please don't give up Hang on Stay strongThere is love.    

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    Tags:
    hope,
    love
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  • Forever Cynic

    Diagnosed with Complex PTSD, now i know why i've been me.Living all these years with my torture, never knowing if it was nature or nurture. Hoping that i'm still seen as a man, but knowing you choose not to understand.Intent to punish and not to care, ignoring all the years i've been there. Giving you everything for 7 years, blood and sweat despite my tears. You have a real lack of understanding, why on myself i'm so demanding. After 7 years ...

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    Tags:
    survival,
    Recovery,
    Pain
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  • Ember

    Please Note: This piece contains references to suicide

    I'm so filled with this sorrow, can't get through today, can't bare to think about tomorrow.This pain, this pain, this pain, so indescribable i can't explain.Not part of this world nothing seems real, so numb with pain, i just can't feel.I'm the loneliest guy on this planet, this can't beb all to life....can it?Decision made my path is chosen, my time on earth will soon be frozen.To those i've known i'll be a memory, except ...

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    Tags:
    Pain,
    Despair
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  • The Final Chime

    Please Note: This piece contains references to suicide

     i just want to stop this pain, it falls on me like endlees rain.Why why why each day i cry, so much so my tears are dry.All i want is joy and gladness, i've lived too long in the shadows of sadness.All i feel inside is numb, knowing that i will succumb.My pain just never goes away, i realise now it's here to stay.No matter what i say, think or do, I'll never be normal unlike you.I've ...

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    Tags:
    Pain
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  • Gambler's Anonymous

    I spin the wheel, there it goes, my turbulent mood dependant on the speed and force. It lands on the red. I debt again. The anger subsides as the negativity consumes. I gambled my sanity and lost again. Left to chance, I repeat the cycle over again. Deeper in debt I go. I talk the talk and walk the walk of others, standing in their shadows, hoping the bailiffs stay away. Unnoticed I go on. ...

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    Tags:
    #recovery,
    #resilience,
    #wellbeing
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  • For You

    My fragile part brokeAs my heart caved I’d poured my heart into youBut you drank itSaving it for others LeftMute,numbMy soul deserted me Alone with no value ..........  My jigsaw landscape Could be pieced together It would be my beach retreat A place for me to blossom I resolved to find myselfAnd give her the loveI have in abundance She made me laugh againShe made me cry A stronger outer shellBut my fragile part still craved He walked in when I was ready ........

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    Tags:
    self-worth,
    self help,
    heartache
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  • Dont make any more bad memories

    Please note: this piece references suicide

    After two suicide attempts and a haemorage I thank God I'm still here. I might not be here fully but I'm here. Each day I promise to change and each day I'm reminded that change isn't easy. But I'm alive. And I must be alive for a reason. The first attempt I made was after I chose to drink vodka in the day with my sisters fiancee. He came on to me n I was ...

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    Tags:
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  • Ups and Downs

    Ruth's StoryTo start with I led a successful and adventuress life. I was a journalist. I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. I gave birth to two children. And then I was diagnozed with Bipolar Disorder.For twenty years I was on Lithium for Bipolar and continued to lead a meaningful life. I counselled the emotionally distressed, walked my dog and wrote four novels.The move into hell came when my doctors decided that as I was getting older and ...

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    Tags:
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  • Treat or Treatment

    Treat or TreatmentLooking back can be cruel or kind, all depending on the nature of my mind. Retracing past places and faces, including my own younger state.Time though to live in the now, learning about the current me and how, to break free of other's expectations and my own past incarcerations.Whether it's on my own or with aid, knowing that I don't want to just fade, learning to be more self-forgiving, ...

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    Tags:
    happiness,
    me,
    journey,
    joy,
    individuality
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  • Strength

    Strength, it sounds solid enough. It can hold its own in a battle of words, with its g curling round like the bulging bicep of an experienced weightlifter. Strength. The word falters on my tongue. My lips move to push it out but my body retracts the sound, refusing its escape. It’s too heavy, I can’t hold it up. Instead it lingers in my vocabulary unused, in a graveyard of words left unspoken. Those words ...

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    Tags:
    #recovery,
    #wellbeing,
    #strength,
    #keepgoing
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  • Full moon

    Full moon Too strong for the full moonThe full moon can’t break you twoYou two have broken through Full circle round the full moonIt can’t take youIt’s glow has made you stronger The full moon surrounds youAnd fills your life with lightNo need to fight it nowYou can shine in itsAfterglow Together through what’s beenYou've seen beyond the moonYou’ve held and bentWavered and bentBut never fallen through 🌓

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    Tags:
    hope,
    resilience,
    Love
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  • Trying to be strong

    Trying to be strong to survive people.I am truly happy in my own space, at home, anywhere with my dog, when there is no one else around, apart from Hubby and even then l crave to be alone a lot of the time.Dont’ get me wrong, I do love him but he can be just as noisy as other people when my head craves quietness.  Even now as I’m writing this,  the washing machine has ...

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    Tags:
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  • I’m Not Depressed, I’m a Police Officer

    I'm a Police Officer and I have depression… yes, I’m going to talk openly about being a Police Officer with depression. I’ll give you a moment to digest that.I’ve had depression for fifteen years.  Not that I thought it was depression.  I thought life was hard, different life situations bring different challenges and once I was an ‘adult’ everything would fall into place and I would feel better.  The only problem… I never felt better.  ...

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    Tags:
    Depression,
    Blue Light,
    Emergency Services,
    Police,
    Police Officer
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  • Strive, thrive and recovery

    My time was consumed with surviving and, on occasion, still is.To survive I must take the magic bullet, one that courses through my body annihilating everything awake, only those who slumber survive. There comes a time of awakening in my body and then both mind and body must strive to survive. My every unshot cell wants to live, at this discovery point, I thrive! I am altered but I continue to thrive into my new ...

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    Tags:
    alive,
    survive,
    thrive,
    happy,
    recovery
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  • Positivity

    A bloated word, embarrassing, in florescent colours. It grins at me. It is an unfeeling word.I want to pop it like a balloon and watch it whir across the room and reach the floor, deflated and realistic.It is used irresponsibly, that word. You should need a license to use that word. Only those who use it properly should be allow it. It is not a door you can simply step through, a place that you suddenly ...

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    Tags:
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  • My life

    Please note: this piece references self-harm

    It all started when I was 10 when I lost my sister  At the moment I was 10 not knowing what to do with my self . I had 4 younger siblings and they looked up to me everyday as thier role model I knows I couldn’t leave them I always had hope. My parents are lovely people and they didn’t deserve this and I knew my sisters didn’t ethier .everyday was hard and no ...

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    Tags:
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  • My strange recovery

    My strange recovery                                                                              I'm not sure what I'm recovering from because I've been on a weird journey where I've been grieving suffering from depression stress and anxiety . And yes I'm the only person that this ...

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    Tags:
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  • A story Unfolding

    A Story UnfoldingBefore me lies a closed book, pages tattered around the edges.Words submitted in black and white cement it’s story through the ages.The cover wanes and creaks weighing heavy on what lies beneath.The sole protector fronting perfection, defending pages from fingers that crumple and crease.The story itself is incomplete.Retracted sentiments through success and defeat.The beginnings morph past middles and absorb the endings.Devouring plots with intentions pending.Others penned the start you see.Unseeing eyes forging misery.The ...

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    Tags:
    #recovery,
    #journey,
    #survival,
    #mystory
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  • Coming into the light

    Please note: this piece contains references to sexual violence.

    Coming into the lightIt’s 4 am and the darkness is comforting. There is a constant hum in the background coming from who knows what. I am at home and remembering a time when there only seemed to be silence and darkness. The only noises were the thoughts in my head, berating me for existing. I was having what I believed to be memories of my infancy. Of course, according to the illness, I was an ...

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    Tags:
    recovery,
    Survival,
    violence,
    poverty
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  • Double Heartedness

       I am becoming 'a have' and I am becoming 'a have not' as I go in and out of recovery like a bleatinglamb. Slipping and sliding backwards and forwards from health to illness varying my condition as acitizen.   I can feel the economy moving around me with my well being adjacent on a separate parallel line. As I,like everyone, am subject to the ups and downs of the times. Two heart ...

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    Tags:
    hope,
    fear,
    recovery journey
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  • My abortion story

    If I could go back in time I would.Abortion is a big thing, no woman should feel forced into doing that but every woman has the right todo what she likes with her body without being judged but sadly it happened to me , sadly I was having to choose between killing an 10 week fetus or letting it survive. I was 18 at the time, i had bunk beds with my sister, hardly brining ...

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    Tags:
    #mentalhealth,
    #girlpower,
    #Abortion
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  • A sense of belonging

    Please note: this story references self harm and suicide.

    I remember the dazed, sickly feeling; the heat of the hospital and the incandescent fear. It had faded slightly on arrival, lurking in the background like a toothache slightly subdued by aspirin. I was angry too, at having made mistakes – big ones and bad ones that would change my life. A lot of the crazy things I had done were because of delusions, but also because of the fear of ending up in a ...

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    Tags:
    dealing with past experiences,
    psychosis,
    survival,
    self harm,
    putting others at risk
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  • The Enduring Struggle

    Please note this story references suicide

    My issues with anxiety and depression started, well, I don't really know exactly when they started but I remember starting to ask my parents for days off school when I was 10/11 so that is when I pinpointed things starting to affect me. My issues definitely became apparent as I started high school.There wasn't anything extraordinarily bad that happened to me during my childhood i.e. physical or sexual abuse. I grew up with my mum, ...

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    Tags:
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  • Territorial

    A force inside my mind,inside my chest,a force that feels something like pain,but not quite,something like fear,urges me to go.  How much will I surrender to this feeling,this foreign part that comes from me,but is not me.Is not welcome. This feeling speaks a urgent language,it speaks to me in ultimatumsabout what I can and cannot endure. It says 'enough' several times a day,but I don't leave when it says leave.I don't give in when it tells me to.And ...

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    Tags:
    identity,
    recovery,
    despair,
    survival,
    endure
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    • 3
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  • Surviving...ish

    I think surviving is what I am doing right now. It wasn't always this way all the time but now I feel like I am sufforcating, drowing in a pit of dispair. I have no way to get to the surface. No way to get out of this dark hole that my life is becoming.Still trying to be the adult, trying to survive at work. Trying not to get distracted but everything is a distraction ...

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    Tags:
    #surviving
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  • A Friend

    Help Along the Way;Most of my writing, at least the stuff that gets published, is quite technical. Until now all of it prose. Recently I've been going along to the writers group at HUG. Challenged by the group I've dipped a toe into poetry. Here is my offering.I do not know the depths your mind plummets to, Nor the pain and panic you face each day,  read more

    Tags:
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  • The Pain

    The Pain I've never known pain like it, in all my earthly years, as I look down from the ceiling, into a pool of tears Up four walls, I've climbedspoke to the spider between the cracksand was told: "Go seek your own kind" It huts more than a hearts beenbroken, from first thing in the morn, tolast thing at night, if I ever find what I ...

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    Tags:
    • 1
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  • Love

    You came into my life as my friend.. and I came to realize that I love you so now you are in my heart and I know that you will never leave.. I love you    wants you to know that I love you more today than I did yesterday, and I will love you more tomorrow then I do today. You have all of me…    when I go to sleep I ...

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    Tags:
    Love
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  • A storm always passes

    It's dark out there. The clouds approach overhead, looming like soldiers waiting to strike. I am stuck, unable to move, sinking in the claws of the sludge. My mind has gone from panick to resignation. I've tried to get out but I just don't have the strength. The weather's closing in. There's a quietness in the air, the calm before the storm. There it is, the drip, drip, drip from the clouds above. It's as if ...

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    Tags:
    #recovery,
    #journey,
    #change,
    #unstuck
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  • My Story: Overcoming of a Storm

    “Getting lost in the darkness while it’s staring back at you is something that stays with you. I am scared to enter the night with loneliness by my side. It takes my hand and leads me into an unfortunate familiar place. Many of my questions are left unknown. I find myself wandering blindly into the future. It’s hard to admit it, but I’m scared. Not knowing when and how severe the next attack is, is ...

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    Tags:
    recovery,
    anxiety,
    self love,
    hope,
    future
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  • Transformation Games

    I feel I am changing, just not quickly enough.  I know that I have made huge strides towards a more balanced lifestyle but I am still very much a weirdo.  More than being a weirdo, I am still suffering from a chronic lack of self esteem.  However bit by bit it is developing.  Every time I avoid temptation or make a positive choice, it strengthens my resilience.  Each small difference helps ...

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    Tags:
    #recovery
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  • The Beast

     The Beast Its 3 30 am and I'm lying here in a different reality to the one that I inhabit normally.   For the most part, I'm enveloped by a beast... a beast that has large black slippery arms and legs.    I am sitting inside the beast whose abdomen is a black place.   Its a place where in order to protect myself, I become infant, foetal, primal, instinctual, isolated, irrational and childlike.     It is this emotional ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    window,
    terror,
    anxiety,
    withdrawal
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  • Survivall

    Through time my eyes bleed painTrying to remain happy surviving in this gameAlthough my heart is torn and my mind is goneI find the strength to carry on Inside my soul i hear wispers of doom Trying to piece together like the light from the moon Constantly ambitious to no avail Survival the point of the tale 

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    Tags:
    • 1
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  • Recovery

    RECOVERY Recovery ain't easyRecovery needs honestyHonesty about the uglinessHonesty about those you pushed away Meanwhile…Family and true friends are waiting…Purpose is waiting…Dreams are waiting … Be honest with your selfLove yourself againNo more putting a fist through the mirror Recovery is learning to trustTrust those who are helpingEven when it hurtsYes there is painBut then - you’re no stranger to pain I promise youYou will awake from the nightmareYou will dare to dreamYou will want to live to the maxYou ...

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    Tags:
    recovery,
    poem,
    pain,
    honesty
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  • Blinking into the Light

    Blinking into the LightSpring is finally here and summer is just around the corner. After what feels like a long winter of not having a job, at long last I’m gainfully employed again. I’ve been thinking about unemployment and how it feels a bit like winter.  In literature references to winter often refer to death, old age, pain, and loneliness. CS Lewis in ‘The Lion, the Witch and Wardrobe’ uses the winter to represent hopelessness ...

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    Tags:
    • 2
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  • Water on Pain

    Please note: this piece references self-harm. Step into the bathtub. Turn the water hot as you can bear, to take the pain away. The fear. The grief. Look down at the scars on your body, made on nights when you were losing your mind. It's okay. Madness is a human emotion too. Whisper "i love you" to your skin, "thank you" for holding all of the stories together and building you new. Lather your hair ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    Anxiety
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  • alone forever?

    I am tired. So damn tired all the time. Life seems hard, my eyes and brain ache for the need to be good enough, to be clever and wise, to experience the happiness others must thrive on. When I was 14years old I was in a terrible place. I was taking drugs, a lot of drugs. I was in a bad crowd but I had a lot of 'friends'. they weren't real friends though because ...

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    Tags:
    lonely,
    sad,
    unhappy
  • The Accident

    Please Note: This piece contains references to suicidal feelings In six days it will be three months since I had my accident. the evening started as normal. I finished work at 5pm on the dot and went outside into my beautiful 'purple pocket rocket' basically into my Purple Peugeot 108. I loved that car so much. I had finally managed to treat myself to a new car in March 2016 and then my car was ...

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    Tags:
    depression?
  • 3-31-2017

    I don't know where to start. I don't want to make myself seem more sad than I actually am. I don't know how I feel sometimes so I just say that I'm sad. I don't know if I'm sad or just bored of life right now. I don't know why I'm here. I don't know why I'm writing this right now. But I have nothing to do and I can't stop thinking and I found ...

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    Tags:
    happy,
    Thinking,
    Sad
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  • Supportive

    The people that I do rely on the most is my friends and family. They have been there for me through thick and thin. They are always there encouraging me on. Being my cheerleaders on the sidelines. I am so thankful to have such great family and friends.

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    Tags:
    peer support,
    support,
    family
  • Recovery

    Please Note: This piece contains references to self-harm. I dont know if anyone will read this nor if they will care but this past week I hit the two year mark of not self harming. I dont expect most people to be proud of me or anything like that because I know I am the one who did it to myself. But years ago if you would have told me that I wouldnt be self ...

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    Tags:
    love,
    Self-Harm
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  • What makes me Resilient?

    Please note: this story references abuse and suicide. What makes me Resilient? I like to keep up to date on the latest research into psychology, especially that which helps me survive mentally in a pre-apocalyptic world. There has been much more noise about person resilience in the last few years. Some say it can be picked up’ by being outdoors, for example, having been a Girl Guide or Boy Scout, when we were young. Perhaps ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    community,
    trauma,
    anxiety,
    Bullying
  • An Ongoing Process

    I look upon recovery as being an ongoing process, as I think I for one will always strive for progress. In recovery, there is no right or wrong, but to move on from somewhere unpleasant you have to be incredibly strong. You will need to come so far out of your comfort zone, but the important thing to remember is that you don't need to do it alone. The road to recovery can be testing ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    Recovery,
    progress,
    hero,
    husband
  • Surviving

    I thought I had it all under control. The less they knew, the less they would meddle, and the less questions would be asked and I forced to answer. Uncomfortable questions, questions I barely managed to ask myself. "How are you?" - Easily saved with a "I'm alright, what about you? How are you? What's going on in your life?", brushing off the real answer by asking them several back. Nodding and smiling as they ...

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    Tags:
    life,
    Depression,
    PTSD,
    symptoms
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  • Inside the Black Rainbow

    CINSIDE THE BLACK RAINBOW Living had become like existing in a black rainbow; No colour, no patterns, bereft of words and music. Yet locked away in dark revines, elements slept, Just waiting for it to be filled with life and light. As year after year, the springs became summers, The autumns became winters, so the seasons mingled . Like the seasons, my feelings merged into darkness. Like the rainbow, I clinged on to who I ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    Writing,
    Creative,
    Darkness,
    Despair
  • My 1 year challenge

    There is a time in life when we draw a line in the sand. When we leave without ever turning back. When we emerge ourselves into something with an energy beyond anything we ever focused on before. My line in the sand came when I was 42 years old and within a time frame of 4 years I lost my father, I was witness to something criminal, I had a child coming back to live ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    challenges,
    co-dependent,
    cancer
  • Who/What am I?

    Who/What am I? My Mental Recovery Am I a person? Am I a patient? Am I a client? Am I a service user? Am I a volunteer? Am I someone to help? NO! – None of the above. I am a number:- National insurance number National health number Patient number A statistic A % of the population A number on a caseload A number between 1 and 10 How does that make you feel today? ...

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    Tags:
  • The Mirror

    THE MIRROR He straps towards the mirror He sees himself He asks, “Who are you?” The mirror replies, “I am you and you are me” He says, “Please explain as there is only one of me” The mirror seems to smile, before replying, “You are more than what you see” He frowns and scratches his head He then asks, “More than I see? NO! What you see is what I am! There is nothing more ...

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    Tags:
  • Thank you

    I don’t know where I’d be Still in the dark of dark Or six foot under in the local cemetery I needed someone or some thing To reach out to, I would find myself With tears on my cheek and in the pit of despair Then last year I was referred to RAMH And found people, people just like me Going through the same scenario Without mentioning names, the support I received Put that dark ...

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    Tags:
  • Support

    Support Having previously been the person giving support, in a work environment, I find it very difficult to ask for support, or help in any way, shape or form. Being fiercely independent does not help matters. It made me think – Where do the roots of that lie? Is it that asking for help or support is perceived as weakness? Surely self awareness and acknowledging that you need support is a strength? There is no ...

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    Tags:
  • My Box

    MY BOX I have my box to carry around Some days it’s like it’s full of fun All tickles and laughter Some days it makes me want to run And chase the dreams I’m after Today is a good day It’s all sunny and bright With lots of laughter and cheers Much better than most days and nights I’ve had over the last few years I wonder what happens to my box To make it ...

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    Tags:
  • Work Problems & Death

    Work Problems Where to start Where to finish Do this, do that Don’t do this, don’t do that It is never ending Never right Always in the wrong No accountability, where does the buck stop Search for help, ask here, ask there Always someone else’s responsibility Tale a grip, take hold, make a stand. Death Death the end of pain The end of expectations No light, no joy, no hope Calm no noise, no chatter ...

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    Tags:
  • Writing myself out of a hole.

    Please note: this piece references suicide. Writing Myself Out Of A Hole. How long I have suffered depression I do not recall. It is now many, many years. I was first prescribed anti depressants in March 1993. It took until September 2014 to get a formal diagnosis. A long time in anyone's book. Of course the black dog wasn't my constant companion, There were months and years when he didn't visit. However, he was never ...

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    Tags:
    recovery,
    Depression,
    Writing
  • Semicolon Project

    "Semicolon Project" When I heard about this project, I knew it was meant for me, It’s to help end stigma, So we worry less each day, Doesn’t matter if it’s depression, Addiction or Self-harm, We all live with our demons, No one ever sees who we are, Too scared to let them in, The anxiety of the situation, The worry in catastrophizing, For these people you see, You’re not alone in this world, We all ...

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    Tags:
  • Survival

    Like the sands of the hour glass Felt like I was running out of time Every day as a youngster Looking for love I couldn't find Hidden in my heart was a pain so deep Where do I go To whom must I speak Believing in a power I've never seen or heard Watch the world go by like no one cares At the end of the tunnel there was still no light Maybe that's ...

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    Tags:
  • Self Harm.it's double edged

    Please Note: This piece contains references to self harm Self harm relief and grief. It took me a long time to realise how much of a doubled edged sword cutting myself was. I'd do it and feel better, lighter, freer and then in the morning the recriminations would start. How do I hide it from family? How deep is the cut? How big will the scar be? Shame, fear and the big question; was it ...

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    Tags:
    hope,
    self harm,
    light
  • Who/What am I?

    Who/What am I? My Mental Recovery Am I a person? Am I a patient? Am I a client? Am I a service user? Am I a volunteer? Am I someone to help? NO! – None of the above. I am a number:- National insurance number National health number Patient number A statistic A % of the population A number on a caseload A number between 1 and 10 How does that make you feel today? ...

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    Tags:
    Group,
    Charleston
  • My Rose

    My Rose I hold love, so dear I’d hold that love even dearer, if it was here In this tear stained place, looking at me With a look, that makes the heart inside, pure race Some of us are absent without leave Me, I'm absent without love and lonely As Adam before the creation of Eve I need a paradise darlin’, to bring out The roses in the garden, despite the thorns Every garden needs ...

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    Tags:
    Group,
    Charleston
  • live in better days

    Just over three years ago I found myself in hospital again and was thinking passively, is this my life? Can I ever get beyond this situation? I have lived with mental illness for many, many years and am now older which also caused me to wonder is there any future? I was put on different medication and found it made a big difference. I don't know how much has been due to that and how ...

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  • My journey Free As A Butterfly

    Hi my name is leanne, over the last three years I have grown so much. It all started back in 2012 where I spilt up from my kids dad and I started drinking to block out emotions. My mental health started to change in 2013 I wouldn't go anywhere and I just felt worthless, the drinking and taking drugs also played a massive impact on my life. I would try and fix other people and ...

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    Tags:
  • Four in the Morning, Caring

    Four In the Morning - Caring It’s four in the morning, the phone rings its shrill Everything else in the world seems to still, The journey to mum’s gets harder each time ‘No response’ Mechs report, when they tried on her line I wonder with dread what awaits me up there A fall, a wet bed, no blankets – just care? The daily events that I may need to cancel All rush through my head ...

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    Tags:
  • My Spiritual Recovery Experience

    My spiritual recovery has four aspects: 1. I do not have to be ill to lead an unreal or untrue life. 2. I do not have to be well to lead a real or true life. 3. I can be unreal or untrue due to the complexities of my illness. 4. I can be real and true about the complexities of my illness. 1. It seems to me vast posses of people are able to ...

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    Tags:
    spiritual emergence,
    depression,
    recovery journey
  • 1 year on - my self harm recovery story (so far!)

    Warning: This piece contains references to self harm 18/11/2015 Today is an important date for me. It marks an important anniversary and an achievement which I am immensely proud of myself for managing to accomplish. It’s not the date I graduated from uni, or found a job, home, pet or significant other. Nor is it the kind of anniversary people usually make a fuss about or celebrate in the public eye. But it is a ...

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    Tags:
    long post,
    recovery,
    self love,
    self harm,
    personal
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  • A Letter To Encourage Myself

    Keeping one step ahead of my mental health. This is what is being asked of me. How is it done? How will I measure it? How will I know? How will anyone else know? The truth is I experience this effort and its pain on a daily basis. Yet any benefit attained from it might be quite invisible to me and those around me. I am so sensitive to the world's comments, condemnations and judgements ...

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    Tags:
    hope,
    self help,
    optimism,
    reaching out
  • The Brick Wall imagioned

    Positive is hard to keep, the brick wall is there. Taller and hard to beat, I just look and stare. Realised the wall is unreal then it began to fall. Closed my eyes to heal. Opened wall gone stand tall.

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    Tags:
    positive,
    thinking
  • Face don't fit?

    What do you do when your face don't fit? standing, walking lonely, I just want to sit tired of trying, tired of looking round when all is lost I just want to be found will you help me If I call your name? will you treat me just the same? all I need is your warm refrain to let me know I'm loved I'm tired of looking round my mental maze all I want is ...

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    Tags:
    2,
    Tag
  • Walking down the borderline

    Please Note: this story talks about overdose. My name is Tyrene Casha. I am writing my story about how I recovered from mental health illness. I have recovered from numerous mental health disorders but the one I am discussing today is the disorder that haunted my existence for most of my life and caused me much pain and heartache; a borderline personality disorder. I was not diagnosed till I was about 20 years old. When ...

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    Tags:
    Disorder,
    Borderline,
    Personality
  • 10 years

    10 years ago today my gran passed away. My fiancée is working. She really just wants to be with me as she knows im a little under the weather. That is all I can say!

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    Tags:
    Low,
    Sad,
    Fiancee,
    Upset
  • Fighting the stigma

    FIGHTING THE STIGMA How to deal with low-moods and depression We all have mental health-lets end the stigma together Most of you know from reading my blogs how i feel about mental health stigma . I want you to understand that when looking at someone else remember they are a person , not a label . There are so many ways you could simply make another person strugglings life so much better , be patient ...

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    Tags:
    me,
    not,
    see,
    condition,
    the
  • What Someone With A Mental Health Condition Looks Like

    What Someone With a Mental Health Condition Looks Like Well yeah, I have mental health conditions but I don't look any different from anyone else. Some people think that you need to look ill or sad to prove you have a mental health condition but in reality, it is something that doesn't always show! I have suffered with mental health conditions most of my life, but for the past year, things have gotten worse. I ...

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    Tags:
    anxiety,
    depression,
    recovery
  • Finding the help from people who are close

    The journey I started has been good,but sometimes long, Friends and family kept me going,keeping my life on song, Backward tracking,confidence lacking, Given help by them,got their support and backing, I feel better now,feel ready to cope, From them I got back my self esteem and hope. Still on the journey,still seems long, Good people around me to help me keep strong, Tomorrow will come and it will go, I'll meet it with the strength ...

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    Tags:
  • STEPS TO FREEDOM

    STEPS TO FREEDOM I'm at the stage in my recovery where I feel ready to look at stepping out into the big bad world on my own. I'm not comfortable with it but I'm willing to give it a try. I've been isolated in my home for a number of years, progressing to being able to go outside with my family, but never on my own - until now. Its been really difficult to face ...

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    Tags:
    hope,
    support,
    Recovery
  • Hunger Strikes

    I need a meal! I have eaten nothing but chocolate and rubbish for the past 10 days because that's all I have at home. My girlfriends home is exactly the same. We have eaten everything from the freezer and only have a few tins of soup in the cupboard. The funny thing is when you are short of cash or have none as a matter of fact you learn to live in a totally different ...

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    Tags:
    Help,
    Hunger,
    Food,
    Low,
    Sad
  • Straggler

    Its been 8 years. 8 long years... How have I survived this long? The urge to end it all comes and goes, yet when I reach my highest, I am still unhappy. I should be happy, not much is going wrong in my life and most things are going right. I work nights, earning my meals while dragging my heels, alright money. My parents are there for me and I have 3 very good friends ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    Helplessness
  • Relapse - (This story mentions self harm)

    Its 3.20am and I have found myself awake! AGAIN. I posted a few days ago saying that being up at this time isn't a normal thing for me but this time its a little different. You see it wasn't that I couldn't sleep. It was to do with Relapse. The past couple of days I have been quite low in the evenings and thought about harming but I was good not to do it. I ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    Stitches,
    Self-Harm,
    Hospital,
    Relapse
  • Today I Thrived not just survived

    Today I done a little more than survived, I thrived a little. I got up and had a shower so that is a good thing. I dropped my girlfriend off at the train station as she has work and I had plans to spend the day with my mum. I picked mum up at 1pm and we went to a café for lunch. We then went a drive to some stores looking for some plants ...

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    Tags:
    Plants,
    Thrive,
    Gardening,
    Girlfriend,
    Mum
  • The Write Way to Recovery........

    Hi, My name is Malc Collier. I recently became a supporter of CALM ( the Campaign Against Living Miserably ) which is a charity set up 10 years ago. Their predominant aims are to encourage Men to open up about /share their mental health issues and, therefore, to attempt to reduce the drastic numbers of men that commit suicide every year ( around 5,000 ). This is 75% more than women because it is identified ...

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    Tags:
    suicide prevention,
    men,
    CALM
  • My Safe Place

    Today I am "surviving" I didn't sleep well last night which really isn't like me at all. I took my girlfriend to the dentist at 8am and when we came back we slept for another few hours before she had to get up for work. I was actually really looking forward to getting home. I just wanted a bit of time to myself, alone, in my own safe place. After all when you feel a ...

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    Tags:
    Clean,
    Borderline Personality Disorder,
    Housework,
    Home,
    Selfish
  • Be yourself and believe in yourself

    ITS OK TO BE SCARED. ITS OK TO BE DIFFERENT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SCARED, BECAUSE YOU ARE DIFFERENT.

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    Tags:
    coping,
    strategies
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  • Be yourself and believe in yourself

    ITS OK TO BE SCARED. ITS OK TO BE DIFFERENT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SCARED, BECAUSE YOU ARE DIFFERENT.

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    Tags:
    coping,
    strategies
  • I survived

    Please Note: This Story Discusses Suicide... When I look back to this time last year- I wanted to die. I did everything to hurt myself. I cut my wrists, I starved myself and I made several attempts to end my life. I had no future and no life and I wanted it all to end. I don't know exactly what happened between then and now, but now I know that self- destruction is no longer ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    #suicide,
    #Recovery,
    hope,
    survival
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    • 0
    • 0
  • Writing

    Writing down my thoughts and feelings helps me to feel better about things and get out of my own head. Sometimes all my thoughts scramble around in my head soo fast, or are very over whelming. Just putting them on paper helps me to put them into perspective, see things for what they are, and help me get in touch with where I am at this very moment. I can pull myself out of a ...

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    Tags:
    Writing
  • All at Sea

    I am all at sea I have backed the sails and they are flogging I do not know which way to push the tiller To port? To face the onslaught of waves To starboard? To run away with the waves Instead I am hove to, stuck, going nowhere I am taking water, sinking Bail out or head for shallow water? I man the bilge pumps As fast as I pump out, water flows in I ...

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    Tags:
    hope,
    sea,
    despair,
    Flipflops
  • Today it is Hard

    Today it is easy being a flip flop girl I am funny, confident & bubbly I am happy, enjoying life I am wearing my pink flip flops Today it is hard being a flip flop girl Where has that funny & confident person gone? Unhappy, no joy in life I am wearing my pink flip flops Today it is easy being a flip flop girl I am intelligent, diligent & creative I listen, give good ...

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    Tags:
    hope,
    depression,
    despair,
    Flipflops
  • Enough For Me

    I have had three men who go in and out of my head for years now. They are very important to me and, although they really distress me, I feel like I need them around. Recently I spoke to someone from my local crisis team who said I should try to accept them when they are around and when they aren't around. I've been trying to do this but it's hard because I feel like ...

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    Tags:
    Poem,
    BPD,
    borderline personality disorder,
    pseudo-psychosis
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  • Recovery is the hardest part of mental illness.

    Warning, this story deals with self harm and suicidal thoughts. I have recently been diagnosed with Depressive Episodes, OCD, Self Harm, Social Anxiety and Eating problems. With features of Bordeline Personality Disorder. Throughout my childhood I struggled with social situations, things like germs, perfectionism and trichotillomania (pulling my eyebrows and eyelashes out) .. although my mum thought it was a bit odd- she never really believed when people pointed it out to her. I went ...

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    Tags:
    #BPD,
    #selfharm,
    #suicide,
    #inpatient,
    #Recovery
  • my journey

    I have paranoid schizophrenia,depression and anxiety. I have had many ups and downs. My worst year was 2010 when I started hearing voices. That year I took my second overdose. I cant believe how far I've come. I am getting married next year.

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    Tags:
  • Challenging my disordered thoughts

    I never realized how deeply involved I was in my eating disorder until I started recovery. It was a very harsh realization to accept I was no longer in control of it and that what I was doing was actually causing me serious physical harm. Accepting the problem was real was the first practical step towards recovery. I began to challenge my thoughts and try identify if they were as a result of disordered thinking ...

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    Tags:
    acceptance,
    reflection,
    taking control,
    eating disorder,
    anorexia
  • Signs of my recovery

    One of the first signs that I was getting better was that I could read again. For a long time I couldn't concentrate when I read, so reading novels, no matter how familiar, was no longer pleasurable. Trying to read anything academic or 'formal' made me feel like a toddler trying to read a code combined of Hebrew, Arabic and Japanese! So when I started to be able to concentrate again reading became a really ...

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    Tags:
    creativity,
    recovery,
    concentration,
    gratitude,
    reading
  • The 3 C's of Eating Disorder Recovery

    The 3C's of Eating Disorder Recovery No-one ever chooses to have an eating disorder; however, there are choices still available to you. For me, recovery is about empowering yourself, rather than empowering your eating disorder. The first stage of this empowerment involves separating your voice from the voice of Ed. Many of you will experience this via the internal argument that goes on between your voice and the voice of Ed. The internal dialogue between ...

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    Tags:
    mental health,
    recovery,
    eating disorder,
    change
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  • walk in miles of my shoes

    Everyday and night i hear him and see him and i talk to him. I am also having to deal with sleepiness and then i hope that it will disappear. I started doing beading and makeup as therapy and then i became better. started reading and talking to more people like me. reaching out to others alike and don't want to be alone. Wanted to help others and make friends. so i started with family ...

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    Tags:
    schizophrenia
  • Broken.

    My name is vishalatchi arunagiri, I am 22 years old. At the aged of 19 i was diagnose as schizophrenic. I couldn't believe it at first and didn't take my meds. until i gain back sanity by reassurance from family i took my meds and start excepting my illness. I get paranoid fears of people and i don't trust anybody. I have started to write. I have published my book and i have my own ...

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    Tags:
    schizophrenia
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  • My poem saved my life :)

    Last week, the upsetting news of well known actors death shocked millions. It has brought about awareness on how depression can be hidden behind even the happiest of smiles. I am one of those people who hid behind her smile for many years and I would love to share my story with you. I am the girl next door. The girl that smiles as you pass her by in the street. The best friend who ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    mental health,
    support,
    taking control,
    self-help
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  • A Chronicle At Daybreak - patience in getting up.

    A chronicle at daybreak - Patience in getting up. Understanding his morning blues when he wakes up and how he gets up was key to Bob's salvation. "Its a delicate, vital process" He admits to himself not to be taken lightly. The sorrow he feels when he awakes is like a mournful cockerel crowing, where long , black, thin shadows prevail and there is a surreal sunrise to overcome with reality to embrace later. He ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    anger,
    feelings,
    self management
  • One Thing After Another

    So I have done the hard stuff in relation to my child abuse, just waiting for the phone call to say he has been arrested, and I'm not the most patient person so this is torture, but knowing it's coming is putting a positive spin on it all. Although still don't feel real, I still feel that this has all been a dream so kind of need the phone call just to clarify that it ...

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    Tags:
    life,
    positive,
    events
  • Opening Up and Ending Stigma

    *DISCLAIMER- I have no medical training and am not a professional or affiliated with any medical professionals, organisations or practises. All the advice I have offered below is anecdotal and comes from personal experience and is not advocated by any mental health professional or personnel. This is advice from one layman to another* I want to talk about a dirty word beginning with 'V'. The one that people use against you because having it makes ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    recovery,
    shame,
    stigma,
    vulnerability
  • Finding Your Way Through The Healing Process

    "Everything happens for a reason" "God gives us only what we can handle" "The law of attraction means that bad things happen because we, or our families/communities, are focussing our energy, attention and focus on it" "Before you came into this life you made a deal with the universe to experience everything in order to learn before the next life." These are some of the most infuriating things that I've heard when it comes explaining ...

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    Tags:
    options,
    recovery,
    wellness,
    health,
    personal responsibility
  • I'm Getting Up For Work

    I'm getting up for work "Today I am getting up for work", schmoozed Bob to himself. He feels glad and it makes him happy to shower and dress. The feeling of dependency has withered and he feels positive about himself. "A renewed man under a blue sky" he dares to think to himself. It's been a long time out of work and Bob does feel nervous but he is breathing a sigh of relief at ...

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    Tags:
    smile
  • Where you least expect to find it.....

    Someone who became and still is a brilliant support to me is my friend Su. And i would not have ever imagined it to happen that way .I thought other friends would know what to do and how to be...but strangely they managed my illness in different ways. A few stayed, some hovered but a lot disappeared. And that is ok as i see now that for them it was too hard a change for ...

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    Tags:
  • life changing.

    I am a survivor and yet my life hasn't been the best. I coped in negative ways which in turn didn't help , it only made matters worse for me. I now cope in a more positive way and this gives me the opportunity to have a better quality of life not just for myself but for my family too. I gained confidence by attending a group and this also gave me the motivation to ...

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  • The Climb

    Goodness, sitting here thinking about my journey so far I realise that I have come a long way and achieved a great deal. Sometimes it takes just "making space" to look back at the road travelled. As an avid hill climber I recognise this feeling when it's been a struggle and my focus has been constrained to looking up at the task ahead. Writing this has allowed me to stop (get out the flask and ...

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    Tags: