Surviving to thriving and back to surviving...
I thought I was thriving. And this is good, right? No, apparently "it's concerning" and indicates that I am 'vulnerable' in some way.I'm sorry that I don't fit into your expectations or preconceived notions of what resilient and well looks like. I'm sorry that in some indefinable way I 'buck the trend' of your many years of experience. I'm sorry that I exist in your universe, but not to worry - you got rid of me, ...read more
Sharing Resources That Saved Me
I was a victim of domestic violence growing up. I truly believed that abuse equaled love. This warped way of thinking led to my incessant need to please, feelings of inadequacy, lack of coping skills, and ultimately propelled my addiction. Abuse and addiction are both heavily stigmatized and this led me to suffer in silence. I finally reached out for help and I am so grateful I did. I have almost 3 years sober today ...read more
What makes me Resilient?
Please note: this story references abuse and suicide. What makes me Resilient? I like to keep up to date on the latest research into psychology, especially that which helps me survive mentally in a pre-apocalyptic world. There has been much more noise about person resilience in the last few years. Some say it can be picked up’ by being outdoors, for example, having been a Girl Guide or Boy Scout, when we were young. Perhaps ...read more
Please note: this story references self harm. It has been a long day, I am tired and settling down for the night, but there is an uneasy feeling in my stomach, a twisting and fluttering, like there is a fear or question rising, one which I am not yet ready to entertain and answer, a request which I will not adhere to. There is a sense of something creeping up on me, a time, a ...read more
Warning: This story deals with trauma, sexual abuse and self harm. people always said the small woman with bright blue eyes beaming, such a warm welcome smile (always called the smiler) simply amazed by the torture and trauma, I have gone through. Although behind that smile, there gazed was a haunted hurting child drained with secrets, trauma and horror. some survive and some don't, some victims, some survivors. for many years I was that victim ...read more
OK so the past 24 hours have been a bit of a whirlwind but a huge step in the right direction for me. After 10+ years of suffering in silence I am now ready to report the childhood abuse that happened to me.......................... and you know whats really strange I actually feel nothing. I haven't cried, regressed, screamed, shouted, etc....... instead I have been cool, calm and collected. I don't know whether this is because ...read more