• Inner_Critic_Flowchart.pom

    During a session about dealing with your inner critic, I joked about the idea of having a self-care flowchart to help determine whether I'm having real doubts or if I'm just having negative thoughts because of poor self care. I thought about it a little more and decided it'd be something interesting to write about - I hope you enjoy! Do you feel bad?Yes.Have you eaten today?Yes.Have you eaten anythingthat isn't pop tarts and candytoday?No.Eat a ...

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    Tags:
    suicidal thoughts,
    self love,
    inner critic
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  • I Can't Sign Out

    I live for when I feel the sun on my skin on days like thisfreckles darkening, strawberry flesh. Ice water cooling a warm mouth, bare feet in the grasssee the bees bumble. Smell warm coffee and bread in the morning and hearKind words of strangers, tasteHandfuls of chocolate scoffed, a sneaky pleasure. collecting leaves - secret treasure. Soft blankets on my skin, cool air drifting as I awake in the morning. I've too much to stay for; I can't sign out.  

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    Tags:
    depression,
    suicidal thoughts,
    recovery,
    overdosing,
    finding happiness
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  • Strange

    Please note this story references suicide and self harm

    Going to work every day when you've been thinking of suicide and cutting yourself the night before is strange. People asking how you are. Wanting to tell them, wanting to give them a reason why you've been so scatty and struggled to remember things. It gives me a sense of shame not feeling like I'm fully excelling at work because it is my near only form of social interaction and that is how ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    college,
    suicidal thoughts,
    work,
    self harm
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  • There is Freedom-Reach Out-Ask for Help

    I remember how hard the struggle was to admit I had a problem. My pride and delusional thinking always wanted to overpower the reality. My alcohol use was numbing my pain. Flowing through my bloodstream like a vicious cycle of raging vengeance that gave me a fearless feeling of confidence and strength. When the alcohol wasn’t present, the reality set in. I was sad, depressed, and fucking hopeless. I felt like a worthless piece of ...

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    Tags:
    hopeless,
    Hopeless,
    addiction,
    Alcoholism,
    stress
  • Let Me Speak

    The fear of having no voice. I scream & shout but still there’s no sound. . . I lost my voice well I thought I did. So I stop writing & I stop believing. All my misbeliefs and heartache and overthinking started consuming my mind body & soul. Not good! To put in words how, I wouldn’t even know what to start with. If I start rambling on, just let me ! I seem all ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    suicide,
    suicidal thoughts,
    life,
    Thinking
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  • Emotions

    Emotional waves of razors and glass Thick, heavy darkness that will not pass Trapped alone in a metal barred head Going through the motions of the already dead Unseen through layers of disguises and masks Allowing the program to complete daily tasks Anxious enough to jump out of my skin Don't know where the parts end and where I begin Feeling like a child and looking like a freak No hope and no care, the ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    emotions,
    suicidal thoughts,
    poem,
    self harm
  • 'I Paid.'

    I'd gone to visit a friend and we'd been drinking. He had moved away and I rarely got to see him, so we were having a good catch-up and enjoying ourselves. We'd been to a few bars and had then gone back to his apartment to begin drinking the whiskey I'd brought. But within minutes the facade dropped, I couldn't stop crying and I had no energy left to keep up the pretense. My friend ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    suicidal thoughts,
    male,
    self-hatred,
    guilt