Spirit Of Low Self-Esteem
Part of my work within my conscience is to separate a spirit of low self-esteem which is a symptom of my illness from the spiritual experience of lowliness which I get from the Lord. And not to confuse the two of them.I can willingly accept lowliness in abundance but chronic lack of self esteem is a painful affliction. So my religious life is sorry and sore. Moreover I sound confused when accompanied by its distress.So ...read more
My Sense of Condition and Community
The man behind his own tender emotional sequence is wise to accept the reality of help from those around him even when it seems to him jaded with repetition but not lacking in love.I am a human being with a symphony of abstract emotional heart beats. These can be listened to or accommodated and nursed to a better place if I have the good fortune to receive a support when I need it.So what do ...read more
Diffusing My Atomic Heart
Knowing how to diffuse an arsenal of emotions is part of my well being and education. As the pressing tide of illness sweeps back and forth I am conscious I must not yield to it.I must mitigate this flow somehow while coping with reality. I would rather not be put to the test so often, as I go about hard wired in the pursuit of providing.I have two hearts. One at peace the other ready ...read more
Suspense, Anguish And Fear…..
……….all over what is not real with a paranoid component and feelings of despair. An emotional heart beating out a vibration of error. Not to mention a plague of voices playing with my head.With a mind as sensitive as a set of scales enrobed in this suspense. Ready to oscillate about the mean with life's triggers before balancing once again to reality.This is the only bit of apparatus I have to judge the world, squarely ...read more