• Hate is Such a Strong Word

    Hate is such a strong word but that's how I feel about myself. It's not that I think i'm a bad person, I feel like i'm fundamentally evil. Even though people ask me for proof of this and I can't provide it, it still doesn't change how I feel. I guess it's maybe due to the way I was treated as a child and the comments have stuck with me so much that I have ...

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    Tags:
    self-hatred
  • 'I Paid.'

    I'd gone to visit a friend and we'd been drinking. He had moved away and I rarely got to see him, so we were having a good catch-up and enjoying ourselves. We'd been to a few bars and had then gone back to his apartment to begin drinking the whiskey I'd brought. But within minutes the facade dropped, I couldn't stop crying and I had no energy left to keep up the pretense. My friend ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    suicidal thoughts,
    male,
    self-hatred,
    guilt