• Saved Draft

    As I sit at my computer desk pondering life. I can hear the birds tweeting outside the window. Its getting darker now. Night is coming. If this desk could talk it would speak of grueling hours of studying. Completing high school homework and studying. Then all those hours of college work then finally the grueling hours of university work. All of which is rewarding. The desk is marked with hairline scratches. All of which will ...

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    Tags:
    happy,
    dreams,
    reflection,
    thoughts
  • 99% Real : 1% Mania

    OH! That 1%. If only I could be real for 100% of the time. Would the grass have been greener for me, my family and friends? I fear it would not, life being life. It is just a rash of wishful thinking. That gremlin 1% precipitates, spontaneously, while working, knocking out reality in an instant. Like the wind blowing out a candle. Then I find myself trying to make everything right when it is out ...

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    Tags:
    mania,
    reflection,
    anxiety,
    love,
    self-worth
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  • Challenging my disordered thoughts

    I never realized how deeply involved I was in my eating disorder until I started recovery. It was a very harsh realization to accept I was no longer in control of it and that what I was doing was actually causing me serious physical harm. Accepting the problem was real was the first practical step towards recovery. I began to challenge my thoughts and try identify if they were as a result of disordered thinking ...

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    Tags:
    acceptance,
    reflection,
    taking control,
    eating disorder,
    anorexia
  • Bob's Work Shocks

    Bob's Work Shocks My intelligence tells me I can do more while my illness says I can not. I recover to a point then it goes again making it hard to lead a balanced life. I feel like I am always struggling to start and never quite making it. Picking up the bogey prize when I do for running the race in the first place, hoping I will finish it. " Is this all I ...

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    Tags:
    reflection,
    recovery,
    vulnerability,
    work,
    lived experience
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  • The Stranger

    I saw her there, sheltered under the tree, hunched over and twisted like the gnarled tree trunk; shoulders shaking like the leaves, shimmering and waving in an Autumn breeze. I felt compelled to approach the vulnerable woman so small was she that I felt she must surely need some help. As I got closer I saw a heavy, wet tear roll off her cheek and onto the ground, a miniature lake no bigger than a ...

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    Tags:
    compassion,
    reflection,
    helping,
    nurturing,
    protecting