• Out of homelessness into hope

    Please note: this story references suicide.

    Initially life was good. I believed I grew up in what appeared to be a loving family. However my family were either using or selling drugs. For me I thought that was normal. Sure everyone was using heroin. As I got older I knew this wasn’t the case and that it was wrong. Drugs destroyed the life of so many of my relatives and I knew this life wasn’t for me.I tried to ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    Mental Health,
    Homelessness
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  • Soul Satisfaction

    I'm searching for a soul satisfactionDirection, Creation and ReactionFrom The Power deep withinForgiving of all sins Buried deep within The SecretAll my pains and regretsWaiting on the time to re-appearReady for my soul to hear Believeing in The UniverseThis life isn't a dress re-hearseTake the first steps and you will findA better peace in mankind The meaning of joy in our soulTo make us wholeThis feeling may be celestialMaybe it could even be terrestrial I'll keep searching for that ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery
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  • I Am Learning

    I am learning I am learning to navigate with no sense of direction and still find my way to joy.I am learning equilibrium to keep my mind healthy.I am learning more than textbook talk.I am learning more thanself destruction.I am learning in this uncertainty. I am owning my anxiety causeI am tired of avoiding lifeand trading love for safety.

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    Tags:
    learning,
    Recovery,
    progress,
    step by step,
    reminder
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  • I Sell Smiles

    I sell a smile with every drink,brief interactionswith souls dancing in the night.   I fill vials of poison, venomous green, handed to strangers who fervently gulpto forget their troubles.  The music beats through my bones, blood coursing like the liquor lined up in fivesbefore the girl with the glittering eyes.  Money rolling across my palm, I smile and thank the giverfrom behind my porcelain mask.  As the lights go up The air hangs heavyThe lines at my eyes full of sleep.  I sell a ...

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    Tags:
    coping strategies,
    depression,
    smiles,
    Recovery
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  • My Recovery Story

    June 28, 2018My Recovery StoryWhen I was eight years old, I was not functioning well. I did not sleep, and if I did, I would wake up screaming. I did not eat, and if I did, I would throw up whatever I was able to ingest. I was not attending school. My life was consumed by the thought of death. ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    Hope
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  • Forever Cynic

    Diagnosed with Complex PTSD, now i know why i've been me.Living all these years with my torture, never knowing if it was nature or nurture. Hoping that i'm still seen as a man, but knowing you choose not to understand.Intent to punish and not to care, ignoring all the years i've been there. Giving you everything for 7 years, blood and sweat despite my tears. You have a real lack of understanding, why on myself i'm so demanding. After 7 years ...

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    Tags:
    survival,
    Recovery,
    Pain
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  • Prescribed.

    20mg. 40mg.30mg.20mg.Now 10mg.The reduction in anti-depressant dosage has begun. I'm so scared. Each time this has happened, I experience the worst lows ever. I can't get up, get washed or care about the things I usually do. I'm exhausted, upset and annoyed. After this though, I feel great. I level out and feel joy again. I enjoy things, I get up earlier, I feel more together. The anticipation for this should push aside any negativity or fear ...

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    Tags:
    medication,
    depression,
    anti-depressants,
    Recovery,
    recovery journey
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  • An Ongoing Process

    I look upon recovery as being an ongoing process, as I think I for one will always strive for progress. In recovery, there is no right or wrong, but to move on from somewhere unpleasant you have to be incredibly strong. You will need to come so far out of your comfort zone, but the important thing to remember is that you don't need to do it alone. The road to recovery can be testing ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    Recovery,
    progress,
    hero,
    husband
  • Inside the Black Rainbow

    CINSIDE THE BLACK RAINBOW Living had become like existing in a black rainbow; No colour, no patterns, bereft of words and music. Yet locked away in dark revines, elements slept, Just waiting for it to be filled with life and light. As year after year, the springs became summers, The autumns became winters, so the seasons mingled . Like the seasons, my feelings merged into darkness. Like the rainbow, I clinged on to who I ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    Writing,
    Creative,
    Darkness,
    Despair
  • Beeline for Recovery

    Today I am a very weary traveller, making passage across my own recovery timeline. There is no destination beyond 'Wellness, as I interpret it, sustained for as long as I can.' There is no end goal; to aim for something solid would be futile, given that life will inevitably throw a few curve balls, and the occasional cricket bat to the face. There’s no timetable beyond the relentless mood diaries and the keeping of strict ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    mindfulness,
    therapy
  • Accept loss forever

    A few pithy words form Jack Kerouac. Yes you do have to accept loss for ever. Even if we did achieve the impossible of racial and individual immortality, entropy and accident would intervene. Submissive open and listening. In a world of neo-capitalist brutal completion that would be a true gift. Finally, yes I suppose without fear and shame dignity comes like gentle rain on parched, cracked skin. Maybe even to be in love with your ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    Hope
  • My 1 year challenge

    There is a time in life when we draw a line in the sand. When we leave without ever turning back. When we emerge ourselves into something with an energy beyond anything we ever focused on before. My line in the sand came when I was 42 years old and within a time frame of 4 years I lost my father, I was witness to something criminal, I had a child coming back to live ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    challenges,
    co-dependent,
    cancer
  • Past to Present - Revovery is not only possible but inevitable!!!

    Warning: This piece contains references to self harm PAST to PRESENT RECOVERY IS NOT ONLY POSSIBLE BUT INEVITABLE!! Cloudy thoughts and self-harm: positivity is the charm. To the one's with the scars and broken hearts, whose smiles and tears aren't far apart. To the one's with blood flowing from wounded arms, I know the struggles of self-harm. I know the feeling of finding comfort in a knife and, the aching desire to end my life. ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    Self-Harm,
    Hope,
    Blood and Tears
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  • Overcoming addiction and alcoholism-There is Hope

    My name is Stephanie, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict. I remember how miserable I was when I was using and drinking. Getting sober isn’t nearly as hard as keeping up with our lives when we are out there drinking or using. It’s amazing how different I am today, nearly four years later. Through Bradford Health Services, AA, my family, my new (real) friends, and my AA sponsor, I gained my life back. ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    stories,
    Alcoholism,
    coping strategies,
    hope
  • My Engagement Ring

    After proposing to my Girlfriend the other day and her saying yes. I gave her, her ring which she loved and really didn't expect it. We then booked our venue for our engagement party which is at the beginning of September. On Saturday my fiancée and I went to Belfast to the Titanic exhibition and on the boat on the way over my fiancée then produced a ring for me. I was so surprised and ...

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    Tags:
    Engagement,
    Recovery,
    Fiancee,
    Girlfriend,
    Day Trip
  • STEPS TO FREEDOM

    STEPS TO FREEDOM I'm at the stage in my recovery where I feel ready to look at stepping out into the big bad world on my own. I'm not comfortable with it but I'm willing to give it a try. I've been isolated in my home for a number of years, progressing to being able to go outside with my family, but never on my own - until now. Its been really difficult to face ...

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    Tags:
    hope,
    support,
    Recovery
  • Relapse - (This story mentions self harm)

    Its 3.20am and I have found myself awake! AGAIN. I posted a few days ago saying that being up at this time isn't a normal thing for me but this time its a little different. You see it wasn't that I couldn't sleep. It was to do with Relapse. The past couple of days I have been quite low in the evenings and thought about harming but I was good not to do it. I ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    Stitches,
    Self-Harm,
    Hospital,
    Relapse
  • Meeting new people

    Today I went to my first ever Write to Recovery meeting. I didn't think about the fact I would be in a group of new people until I got to the door of the building. I wondered about the people that I would meet and what they would be like. I felt welcome when I arrived and took my seat. As the room filled up with a small number of people I found myself wondering ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    Website,
    Meeting,
    Write,
    Friends
  • A letter from the unwise....

    Does that seem subversive? Well why not? Yoda had his faults. Was he that much wiser when he finally evaporated leaving Luke, Leia, Han and Chewwie to sort out the Alliance and finally defeat the Empire on their own. Yoda left them to deal with the Jedi's unfinished business. They shared the responsibility with relish. So my son...wiser you may not become..but you survive the crushing of days. Hope is contained in a sense of ...

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    Tags:
    Recovery,
    hopeless,
    Hope
  • Depression: A Purge

    Depression: A purge Three words I have come to dread, more than any that could be said 'How are you?': and queries to that effect, I turn my head and look away and change the subject. See I would rather be in bed and I would rather not have raised my hand to brush my teeth today. I would rather have not have dressed myself and I haven't looked in the mirror for days. I ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    inner child,
    Recovery,
    kindness,
    NHS
  • Journey of a Lifetime

    People say everything has a beginning, a middle and an end - usually in that order. I feel like my life had an end, a middle then a beginning - let me explain. My end was my beginning. It turns out ironically that the worst time in my life has led me to my new beginning. There was of course the 'middle' - the part in-between where I had to work pretty hard and make ...

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    Tags:
    hope,
    PMDD,
    suicide,
    Recovery