• Saved Draft

    The Nevada Ladaroams freeely in its self contained safety tank I chose her for this reasonA vessel to keep me from the harmthat might pervade me She stood outPrevious and impervious of glamourbut undeniably rebellious  My Nevada Lada was my first individualulistic act    

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    Tags:
    identity
  • Fifty

    So they say I'll go down hill now but do you know what?the opposite is trueas I've got to that point My life is a balli may not have it all but I have self belief no more doubt no more grief I know who I ami know who I trust I know I move in the right direction and I know it's a must x 

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    Tags:
    identity
  • Path Dependancy

    Here I am, in a city that I have looked forward to moving for a very long time, sitting on a comfy chair next this beautiful French balcony and keeping my brain busy trying to figure out what is wrong again while my eyes are going around the people by other windows and down in the street. I like being here, this room that I got by chance in a historical center of the town, the loudness of ...

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    Tags:
    life history,
    identity,
    Anxiety,
    coping strategies,
    family
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  • Me

    Looking backI see myselfLooking in Looking in too farI’ve lost myself Need to tear myself apartTo remouldAnd rearrange Put me back togetherRe-piece who I seeWhat she means To me Make me completeSo I can competeOn the same level As you No mask neededIn a war With oneself No need to heedWhat we’re told we needIn this game Of to and fro Let it go.     

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    Tags:
    identity,
    confusion
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  • Territorial

    A force inside my mind,inside my chest,a force that feels something like pain,but not quite,something like fear,urges me to go.  How much will I surrender to this feeling,this foreign part that comes from me,but is not me.Is not welcome. This feeling speaks a urgent language,it speaks to me in ultimatumsabout what I can and cannot endure. It says 'enough' several times a day,but I don't leave when it says leave.I don't give in when it tells me to.And ...

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    Tags:
    identity,
    recovery,
    survival,
    despair,
    endure
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  • The Ways Of Others And My Micro Failings

    Without sounding pathetic the ways of others tend to have been stronger. Events take over and I am in someone else's hands. Where did my power go? Then risks are taken on my behalf and their consequences are again held in someone else's hands. I am left with something I do not want to do, silenced and with no voice. Such are the perplexities that worry and frighten my soul. When I am surrounded by ...

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    Tags:
    identity,
    power,
    sense of self,
    loss,
    self-worth
  • Voices we hear and the Voice we are

    The general daily accusations that a mental health sufferer has to filter out of his hearing and not get depressed about are addressed to everyone. The accusations of idleness, laziness, bumming around, sky walking, dreaming, poor attitude, time wasting, avoidance etc. then there is the general anger towards these perceived faults. This makes us feel very poorly indeed. I understand why, having worked, that time is money. Being unproductive is a sin in the eyes ...

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    Tags:
    coping strategies,
    discrimination,
    identity,
    stigma
  • Happy cook

    I love to eat and I now enjoy cooking. I cook casseroles, lamb and get my ideas from recipes on Google or my boyfriend. Once upon a time my cooking skills were burnt pizza,fish fingers and twizzlers. The thing I didn't burn was chicken,that's because I took it straight from the freezer wrapped it in foil and placed it in the oven. I took it out the oven a couple of hours later, it looked ...

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    Tags:
    hope,
    identity,
    Life,
    line