• Trust, such a big thing !

    Why am I thinking about him again? He is not worth my time and I know that yet I'm lying in bed unable to sleep and all I can do is hate him. Im thinking about my sperm donor of a dad! He used to beat my mum and my older sister, luckily I think he never got to me, by for some reason I'm just as affected by it. He moved away and has started ...

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    Tags:
    dealing with past experiences,
    Overthinking,
    Trust
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  • A sense of belonging

    Please note: this story references self harm and suicide.

    I remember the dazed, sickly feeling; the heat of the hospital and the incandescent fear. It had faded slightly on arrival, lurking in the background like a toothache slightly subdued by aspirin. I was angry too, at having made mistakes – big ones and bad ones that would change my life. A lot of the crazy things I had done were because of delusions, but also because of the fear of ending up in a ...

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    Tags:
    dealing with past experiences,
    psychosis,
    survival,
    self harm,
    putting others at risk
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  • 'I Paid.'

    I'd gone to visit a friend and we'd been drinking. He had moved away and I rarely got to see him, so we were having a good catch-up and enjoying ourselves. We'd been to a few bars and had then gone back to his apartment to begin drinking the whiskey I'd brought. But within minutes the facade dropped, I couldn't stop crying and I had no energy left to keep up the pretense. My friend ...

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    Tags:
    depression,
    suicidal thoughts,
    male,
    self-hatred,
    guilt