Please note: this story references suicide. I was wearing a scarf earlier and I had to take it off because I started to hear the thoughts again, 'Kill yourself'... It creeps in amongst the normal thoughts like 'I'd better go and do the dishes..Or you could kill yourself'. I'd started to think I could maybe just hang myself with that scarf, I wondered how much it would hurt and what surface would hold my weight ...read more
My experience with "professionals"
Please note: This piece contains references to self harm. My experiences with mental health professionals has been... Well, colourful at least. My story begins when I was 15/16, and I was diagnosed with depression from a child psychologist after I had been self harming for a couple of years. To begin with, I thought he was on my side. But as I got better at hiding my self harming, and therefore looked less and less ...read more
The Stigma of BPD - Seen in Professionals
I was initially diagnosed with depression and after a while borderline personality disorder was diagnosed too. This is how I experienced the change in attitudes when this happened. I am depressed - we are here at any time I have BPD - stop wasting our time I am depressed - we can see you are distressed I have BPD - you are not distressed at all I am depressed - we know self harming is ...read more
Enough For Me
I have had three men who go in and out of my head for years now. They are very important to me and, although they really distress me, I feel like I need them around. Recently I spoke to someone from my local crisis team who said I should try to accept them when they are around and when they aren't around. I've been trying to do this but it's hard because I feel like ...read more