Soundtrack to my life

I often hear the soundtrack to my life as I am living it.. the love scenes, the tears, the skipping in the rain, the dramatic parts, the lusty ones, the exciting ones, the calm.
Sometimes as I reminisce I hear the tunes that made my teenage years, the ones that cover my triumphs and my suffering and of course being the romantic depressive that I am, I've even picked my funeral songs.
What a nice job it must be to be looking in on someone else's life, their vision, and picking music for their movie. But then I remember you'd have the director looking over your shoulder, disapproving of or criticising your choices.
I've been writing the musical score as I go along for years now. I suppose I am now learning to be the director too.
Hopefully the show will go on, without too many clashes over creative differences!

Add your reaction
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

Ugly thoughts

Please note: this story references suicide. I was wearing a scarf earlier and I had to take it off because I started to hear the thoughts again, 'Kill yourself'... It creeps in amongst the normal thoughts like 'I'd better go and do the dish...

read more
Tags:
suicide,
borderline personality disorder
  • 1
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

Seeing the psychiatrist when they don't see you.

My usual psychiatrist is off sick. 'You don't seem emotionally unstable to me at the moment' said the Dr, who I'd sat with for under half an hour. Yeah mate, that's not really what Emotionally Unstable/Borderline Personality Disorder is. You shou...

read more
Tags:
Diagnosis,
EUPD
  • 1
  • 0
  • 1
  • 1

Night Time

I wake myself up crying, the real primal kind, where the tears don't come before the wailing, and the writhing in the pit of the stomach. I curl up in fetal position, as if folding myself in half will somehow squeeze out the pain, or maybe...

read more
Tags:

Alone And Single-Handed

O what a gift independence is! To secure a reality through hard work. To have worked alone and single-handedly though no man is an island. Surely this will woe employers in these failing times I am hard-wired to believe?In the meantime a...

read more
Tags:
courage,
self encouragement
  • 0
  • 1
  • 2
  • 0

Alone And Single-Handed

O what a gift independence is! To secure a reality through hard work. To have worked alone and single-handedly though no man is an island. Surely this will woe employers in these failing times I am hard-wired to believe?In the meantime a...

read more
Tags:
courage,
self encouragement

Susan the Great

I'm played by Julia Roberts as she is how I really want to look, both from when she was young and how she looks now.  Also I like her personality; she seems full of fun, just like me.  But there's that little sadness in the ba...

read more
Tags:
  • 0
  • 0
  • 1
  • 0