Paranoid Affliction

O my repeating paranoid affliction so easily triggered by stress. Results in me providing an 'unusual' delivery when I am confronted with essential life situations. A worried bloke, confused with shallow confidence. This behaviour is seen over and over again. Then I am either accommodated or rejected by the people in that life event. Its weird and beautiful like deadly nightshade. It is like I sing a written verse or rhyme recalled involuntarily from my over taxed paranoid memory. A broken record from a past time etched like a tattoo. It is who I appear to be with my hand up. A default experience and the only base which I have to write from. I feel like I am sinking and failing immediately after it erupts and they are all alarmed by my 'unwarranted' self expression. However its not all bad its just a paranoid response to social stress and disappears after spilling out all over reality. Calm down I can live with it, the pure suspense that possesses me. It just seems so bright, loud and embarrassing and is launched from deep feelings of suspense. What a delivery!! be proud of it, it is not harming anyone.

 

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O To Pursue The New

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Newness
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Forgiveness
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Tags:
Lived Experience,
Reality
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Tags:
depression.,
recovery.
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Tags:
small steps,
positive
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vaginismus

argh!feel worried as I read more

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