You're supposed to be my friend

I'd like to trust that you'll be there for me no matter what. Waiting with a cuddle, not judging or criticising, just friendship. Why can't I do that? Why have I felt completely alone for such a long time? I am lonely and sad and I feel like I've lost almost everyone and you're still not there for me. If I stop I'm certain it would be the end for us, so should I?, or should I keep flogging a dead horse? I am the one who needs help, I need to be lifted up, I need love. I don't want to be sensible I want to be comforted. 

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One whole year

When we started I never dreamed we'd be where we are now. Fleeting and fun but always special, is what I thought we were. A time to look back on and feel good about because it couldn't be all the time, no one is this happy all the time....

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Tags:
Love
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I'd like to breathe

I've been talking with various people. Friends. Aquaintances. They know my situation. My daughter has just started school and I'm beginning to come out of my shell in the sense of becoming more comfortable with her at school.The dis-att...

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Tags:
#selfharm
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Path Dependancy

Here I am, in a city that I have looked forward to moving for a very long time, sitting on a comfy chair next this beautiful French balcony and keeping my brain busy trying to figure out what is wrong again while my eyes are goin...

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Tags:
life history,
identity
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Mummy's Minor Car Crash

My little girl has just gone to school...and I feel ...as I've been saying over and over in the last week she's been there, like I've experienced a minor car crash. I go from feeling numb to the strange anticipation of my own happin...

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