A Struggle With Hope

Can hope help me?

I am afraid to contemplate.

It spears forth a scary action.

I do not know if I want it.

 

It rescues me like a remedy.

I am grateful when it happens.

But I am wary of its mechanisms.

 

I am too ill to hope, properly.

Too broken in my thoughts.

And too paranoid when it would bring some peace.

 

It has to come from beyond, I console myself.

And pierce the scene of my distress.

Then I can rally with it's thrusts.

 

And accept being saved, periodically.

Drawing breath from a dark limbo.

Gasping for reality…... like a fish.

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