ME-ternity Leave

ME-ternity Leave

Born mid December, already a week late but heifers always are according to my Dad. Farming's always come first over family with him so my part in his story seems very much like a sideshow. So how did he shape my story? He pushed me away from farming and his old fashioned views on female roles as subsiduary characters. My Mum reinforced this by telling me to keep my independence and maybe this is why I never wanted to marry or have kids. I want to be forever cast as Emma S. But my parents did give me a treasured upbringing in the countryside and my interest in the outdoors, nature and photography. This helped shape my chapter at uni and eventually my career.

As kids my brother and I were close but stories he's told of me have hurt as well as healed.

But now, as I find my story on pause what should I focus on? Is now, while I'm ill the right time to remember fond chapters from the past and more prevalently start writing ones for the future?

I find the black cloud distorts what I remember and hones in on the cruel plots of my life. I need to settle my mind and block out those who try to impose their versions on my narrative. I want to make my story heard. So while society expects me to lose my name to another and take maternity leave I'm keeping my name and having some ME-ternity time. A chapter in my story where I put myself in the leading light without apology or awkwardness. Look at the past with positive hindsight to see what else I can learn that can take my character forward and live a life that's determined by me and not my illness and society's perceptions of it.

Add your reaction
  • 1
  • 1
  • 2
  • 0

Lost for Words

Lost For Words Once again my mobile summons,I’m there to take your call,Ask you how your day has been,Listen to your events both big and small You spout out names...

read more
Tags:
  • 3
  • 2
  • 0
  • 1

Ups and Frowns

Ups and Frowns Recovery is ongoing,There often is no end,Many things i require,To help my head mend, Life is undulating,Like the geography of the land,Like the cycle of the...

read more
Tags:
  • 0
  • 2
  • 1
  • 0

Love Doesn't Seem A Part Of Me

Why do I seem so different,From everyone else I see,Smiling, laughing and in love,While I’m partnered with misery Why does my heart beat,At such a slow and irregular pace,Maybe that&rs..;.

read more
Tags:
  • 0
  • 0
  • 2
  • 0

Recovery ☺

Having suffered with depression and anxiety since I was 16 ( it had manifested since primary school), and recently still, I have made a few positive steps to recovery. I had a bad spell at work, and after speaking to my manager and taking 4 wee...

read more
Tags:
#starting
  • 2
  • 1
  • 1
  • 0

An Ode To Livid Fathers

So I was born to adult life with a damaged money gene to provide with? To the incandescent rage of my father and to the consternation of my contemporaries! Excruciating!So I am glad I got myself baptised with this faulty treasure. I say,...

read more
Tags:
Forgiveness
  • 2
  • 0
  • 1
  • 1

inner critic vs inner therapist

My racing thoughts this morningYouCan'tDoItThereAreSoManyPeopleTheyWillKnowThatYou'reWeirdJustGoHome.My inner critic is like a tabloid headline"Awfully dressed millenial embarrasses herself in public. Ag...

read more
Tags:
anxiety,
inner critic
  • 1
  • 0
  • 0
  • 1