Rejection !

I don’t meet new people, give people a chance. I was being brave, I agreed to meet someone. Despite my anxiety towards it I was going to meet them, I was going to do it for me. Only for it to be spat back in my face with the same retort that I normally give as an excuse to not meet. This is why I don’t do this!! I am scared of rejection. It’s such a stupid thing to be scared of but I can’t seem to shake it off. I can let myself get my hopes up for them to be ripped away, which I find happens more often than not. So I decided a long time ago, the solution would be not to let yourself care. Of course it doesn’t work out like that but if I started to care I would end or stop it. This has worked out quite well until I decided that I would never get anywhere in life if I did this. So I cared and now I have been rejected once again. How do I move on from this ? Does it get less painful by the more times I am rejected ? Does it stop my anxiety and panic attacks in new situations? Can I be normal ? 

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Sleepless nights

So today, I took another step in the right direction! I went on a date, I pushed past my aniexty of meeting new people and actually went on a date! This might not seem like a big step but I have arranged many dates and then cancelle...

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Tags:
anxiety,
hearing voices
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I can do this!

I go back to uni today! I’m determined not to let my aniexty get the best of me. I will be alright. Last night, I was overthinking and sinking into old habits of negative thoughts and excuses. But today, I will be fine. I have to tell mys...

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Tags:
anxiety,
stress
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Trust, such a big thing !

Why am I thinking about him again? He is not worth my time and I know that yet I'm lying in bed unable to sleep and all I can do is hate him. Im thinking about my sperm donor of a dad! He used to beat my mum and my older sister,...

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Tags:
dealing with past experiences,
Overthinking
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Alone And Single-Handed

O what a gift independence is! To secure a reality through hard work. To have worked alone and single-handedly though no man is an island. Surely this will woe employers in these failing times I am hard-wired to believe?In the meantime a...

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Tags:
courage,
self encouragement
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Susan the Great

I'm played by Julia Roberts as she is how I really want to look, both from when she was young and how she looks now.  Also I like her personality; she seems full of fun, just like me.  But there's that little sadness in the ba...

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MY NEW JOURNEY

Please note: this story references trauma and abuse.

 After many years of battling depression & mental health finally being diagnosed with Bipolar seven years ago which resulted in being sectioned and admitted to Hospital.  This caused me ...

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Tags:
anger,
taking control
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