Positivity

A bloated word, embarrassing, in florescent colours. It grins at me. It is an unfeeling word.

I want to pop it like a balloon and watch it whir across the room and reach the floor, deflated and realistic.

It is used irresponsibly, that word. You should need a license to use that word. Only those who use it properly should be allow it. 

It is not a door you can simply step through, a place that you suddenly arrive at.

It is not light and wearable and flattering and well fitted. It hurts my arms to carry it, it's hard to uphold. 

I know it is good for me to do, but I wish other people would understand that I'm breaking out in sweat with the effort, that often my legs are in danger of giving way. 

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Weeds

Like a weed,Prickly leaves, garish, yellow flower,It sprouts in the most unlikely places, between grey concrete,up out of the dark. Sometimes I tear it up because it does not belong.But again it pops up, ...

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Tags:
hope,
happiness
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Rusty Tools

I have little faith in my tools. They are rusted, poorly kept, and blunt. As I walk through the wilderness, my pack rattles it's sparse contents, revealing all the hollow spots, the absence. I doubt the rations will se...

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Tags:
hope,
survival
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Black Holes

Some things can cause time to warp and bend, Some parts of our lives are black holes.We feel sucked into, trapped,held by an irresistable force.Once, finally, free, time moves too tidily,too easily, read more

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I'm trying

Currently on antidepressants to deal with the anxiety. No difference so far (day 4), and having some side effects. Hopefully will see some light soon as I'm willing to stick to them and give them a chance. Although I've thought about le...

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Tags:
anxious,
job
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Surviving to thriving and back to surviving...

I thought I was thriving. And this is good, right?  No, apparently "it's concerning" and indicates that I am 'vulnerable' in some way.I'm sorry that I don't fit into your expectations...

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Tags:
trauma,
reflection
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I am Recovering!

I've only just begun thinking around the idea that I'm actually in recovery.  Being around others with mental health issues and talking has brought this to the forefront of my mind. &...

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Tags:
compassion,
Recovery
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