What is wrong with me?

 

I wrote this when I was in a bad place back when I had just started college and the bullying started again. I am publishing it so I can finally get passed it and move on. 

 

 

 

It's wrong to hate yourself as much as I do
But it is also wrong for people to treat you like shit 
Making fun of you and pushing you down 
They don't realise it makes you feel like shit 
They don't realise that you would do anything to get away from them 
Anything to stop them every if that means that you pretend your stupid thick funny likeable 
But it doesn't matter because no matter what you do you always end up being disliked and laughed at
I was wrong to think that every thing would be differnt to college 
Your still just as thick and stupid and your still the same person who no one likes and who has no friends but for some reason you still try the hardest to fit in even through you never will 
Because you are a loser and no one likes you as much as you pretend that you are ok you are not your shit and every one hates you and you will never have proper friends 
What I still don't understand is why they don't realise that they are hurting  you and upsetting you 
How can they not see it I just don't get it 
I can pretend to be happy or just be me but they can be nice then suddenly I am being moody apparently or I have done something wrong and I am disgusting 
I just don't understand 
There is no one I can tell because they just say sticks and stones break bones but words will never hurt me but this is just a lie one of the worst lies that hurts so much because you think that you are going to get support then they turn around and say that and the cycle continues this life is so fucking great 
I can't believe I am in this place again what is wrong with me! 

Hope this helps someone realise they are not on their own x 

 

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