A Letter To Update Myself

     A varying ability for taking on responsibility on a daily basis is not the same as being irresponsible. You can be good with varying power while being less able at times. My conclusion is this: the experience of inexperience and a lack of confidence because of it is what develops my skills.

   To quick tempered, impatient individuals it might be regarded as, inefficient time wasting and a source of trouble. “He does not inspire confidence “, “He will never make ends meet and stay on a low income”, “He will end up on the street”, “Do we have to teach him everything?”.

   These are some of the hues and colours of the sentiments and impressions, I feel are reflected as I pass through an interview or while talking to my father.

   So I am quite content to do manual work for an income, now and avoid interviews for the jobs which require a higher education. Though I would still like one.

   An Ordinary BSc degree in Engineering seems to have translated into nonsense and gobbledegook for someone with schizophrenia but it still helps me find and obtain work. However, in this period of austerity I feel the market responding differently to me, my health and my qualifications. I still keep on trying as austerity keeps on reshaping what is expected.

   I find periods of hard manual work stimulating and is the appropriate remedy for me in these times, lubricating my brain and keeping me alive. I am sure it helps me overcome my weaknesses and gives me the vital experience that I need to be schooled in, to prepare me for further opportunities.

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