O To Feel So Powerless

O someone calm me down from feeling so powerless and unable to carry on.

I have tried and I have failed for the zenith time. I thought I was on a roll then it all came tumbling down to nothing as my powers seized up.

I am left only with the wings of a broken Phoenix unable to fly out of its ashes.

...breakdown...recovery...breakdown...recovery, it flaps lamely.

Rest is the only help but it takes up so much valuable time compared to the motions of reality.

O the misery of repetition. Here I am again.

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O To Pursue The New

Pursuing new things is exhausting and taxes the emotions of my illness. I am aware that others may always be doing and trying new things. I can not keep up with them.I would be happy with a few new things every now and then. I would be h...

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Newness
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An Ode To Livid Fathers

So I was born to adult life with a damaged money gene to provide with? To the incandescent rage of my father and to the consternation of my contemporaries! Excruciating!So I am glad I got myself baptised with this faulty treasure. I say,...

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Tags:
Forgiveness
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The Fires Of The Day

O, to possess a talent for lasting the whole day, week, month or year!Those monolithic fortresses are gifts I can only hope to admire.I may never realise them securely.I work, I am strong but it does not last, I am consumed...

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Tags:
Lived Experience,
Reality
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Turn round and face it

Turn round and face itThat first bottle of cider set me free, it was as though a button had been pressed in my heart and all the hurt, pain and worry simply blew away like a leaf in the wind.  It was the solu...

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Tags:
depression.,
recovery.
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Through the spin cycle

I dont feel quite right today. So here I am again... I have an art class to attend and Im struggling with getting my act together.  I feel like im not part of anything or anyone.  This distance will keep me at home if I dont push...

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Tags:
small steps,
positive
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vaginismus

argh!feel worried as I read more

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