Me, Myself and Mania?

I am creative, I am flowing, the world looks wonderful and bright and people are fascinating and I can connect with everything around me. I see signs and meaning in everything. I am alive!
Is depression finally over? Am I overly excited because I’m finally having a good day? Am I manic? Am I guilt tripping for having a bad day? Am I over thinking things? Is this anxiety taking over me now?
Take a chill pill or enjoy the ride?
Or am I just coming back into myself, back to the person I was always supposed to be?

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Ugly thoughts

Please note: this story references suicide. I was wearing a scarf earlier and I had to take it off because I started to hear the thoughts again, 'Kill yourself'... It creeps in amongst the normal thoughts like 'I'd better go and do the dish...

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Tags:
suicide,
borderline personality disorder
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Seeing the psychiatrist when they don't see you.

My usual psychiatrist is off sick. 'You don't seem emotionally unstable to me at the moment' said the Dr, who I'd sat with for under half an hour. Yeah mate, that's not really what Emotionally Unstable/Borderline Personality Disorder is. You shou...

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Tags:
Diagnosis,
EUPD
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Night Time

I wake myself up crying, the real primal kind, where the tears don't come before the wailing, and the writhing in the pit of the stomach. I curl up in fetal position, as if folding myself in half will somehow squeeze out the pain, or maybe...

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An oddity in a world of strange

I don't quite have the right sides to fit in. Maybe if I had straighter edges, less curved parts that stick out and show me off to the world. I attempt to remould, change attitudes and behaviours all to get those straight lines. Then, ...

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Tags:
#vulnerability,
#connecting
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Qckbrst1

Quick burst!Get it down, get it out, quick, Before you for.That'll do, practice the discipline, get in the habit for when you need it.

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Tags:
Quick,
burst
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Spirit Of Low Self-Esteem

Part of my work within my conscience is to separate a spirit of low self-esteem which is a symptom of my illness from the spiritual experience of lowliness which I get from the Lord. And not to confuse the two of them.I can willingly acc...

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Tags:
of,
self
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