They started with a bang. Literally. My heart pounded, I felt like I was going to faint, and I sat, shaking, sure that I was having a heart attack. I was 16 experiencing my first panic attack. I don't know what triggered it, I was in college in a lesson minding my own business then BAM I wouldn't breathe.
In that first month I think I must have had around two panic attacks a day. I started noticing triggers but even now early five years on I still don't know what most of my triggers are. They don't happen as much anymore but still scare the sh*t out of me. It’s not fun when your body decides to have a freak out for seemingly no reason. It makes you feel crazy, over-emotional, and unable to get on with life.
It scares me how I can go from being completely normal sitting at my desk typing away to not being able to breathe, having to run to the bathrooms to hide in a cubicle whilst the tears roll down my face struggling to catch my breath. Smoking used to help my catch my breath as I focused on inhaling the cigarettes rather than the actual chore of breathing like a normal person. But two years ago I quit that dirty habit and how I either tan my E-Cig like no tomorrow or I ring someone.
Calling someone always helps for me but there is probably only one person in my life who understands how much it scares me. My best friend has been there for me though it all and he knows if I am ringing in the middle of a work day why I am calling.
PANIC ATTACKS ARE A B*TCH but do not let them rule your life. We are more than panic attacks and anxiety. I am more than that. We are survivors and heros. We are human and we can survive.
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