I want to be me

I want to be confident, I used to be that girl. Back in high school and college I was so cocky and small-minded that nothing bothered me. I was confident in myself and roughly confident in how I looked (lets be realistic no one is confident with how they look ever day). Then after two years of college I was kicked out for being too cocky.

Within two weeks I had four jobs to support myself. I worked 70 hours a week at 16 years old. Crazy. Draining. So tiring. I started becoming mentally drained and tried. I smoked a lot of drugs. Everyday just to get through the day. I was so tired all the time but no one understood. I was 16, they all thought my life was easy. They didn't see me getting up at 4am to start work at 6am and work three jobs a day and only finish working at 11:30pm.

I am now almost 21 years old and I work one job. Normal working hours at last. I have been here over a year and the tiredness is coming back. The constant feeling of mentally and physically drained. Everything aches. I need help but where do I turn without another doctor telling me there is nothing wrong? I know my body and I know I am not okay.

I want my confidence and my happiness back. It has been missing a while and I don't know where to find it but please, please if anyone finds it send it back to me because this person who is surviving work and daily tasks and chores isn't me, I am happy, positive and a laugh. I want to be happy, everyone wants to be happy.

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Please note: this story references suicide.

10 years i have been known to the MHT, although i have had mental health issues for as long as i can remember. I have been through so much. On many occasions i didnt e...

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