Recognising A Turbulent Pattern In Life

I would like to share two areas of self observation; One is in experiencing consolation with God and the other is while experiencing desolation without Him.
For me desolation is accompanied by an added danger when it is prolonged or aggravated by my mental illness. I feel an anxiety that I might not recover from it at all.
On the other hand consolation becomes worrying when due to slight mania things are too good for too long, like a euphoria. Again there is an anxiety associated with this because deep down I begin to feel something is not right.
So I always experience some level of anxiety towards the end of these cycles as I am tried and tested by God in life's events.
Under daily stresses I see-saw between these two realms as I engage in my work. I do not get unwell right away but the experience is a challenge and I can tire quite quickly and will need more rest than is usual to recover. However unchecked it will lead to being very unwell.
On the whole positive stress is very good as it is part of life's motivation and continual learning. Negative stress is the other educator that requires the same amount of emotional resilience and determination. Two sides of the same coin which are well known to sufferers and the people they engage with.
All this turbulence is very important to me as I reflect with maturity that it makes up the majority of my spiritual life experience while I strive to maintain an adequate exterior life.
Mental illness does not stop me receiving God's grace but that never means I should ever forget I have an illness to live with in space and time among men and all that it entails.

Add your reaction
  • 1
  • 0
  • 1
  • 0

Alone And Single-Handed

O what a gift independence is! To secure a reality through hard work. To have worked alone and single-handedly though no man is an island. Surely this will woe employers in these failing times I am hard-wired to believe?In the meantime a...

read more
Tags:
courage,
self encouragement
  • 0
  • 1
  • 2
  • 0

Bohemian Anxiety

I gave up my comfort zone,To the Yell of the world,I felt I had no right to it,I risked my mental health, I listened to its schmooze,I heard every pitch,My 'accusers' descended,<...

read more
Tags:
Anxiety,
of
  • 0
  • 0
  • 2
  • 0

Experience

Gaining useful, bona-fide experience from the work place with fluctuating mental health can be a daunting task. And I find it painful.Articulating the reality of hard earned experience and conveying my self worth at interviews often seem...

read more
Tags:
experience,
solid
  • 0
  • 0
  • 2
  • 1

inner critic vs inner therapist

My racing thoughts this morningYouCan'tDoItThereAreSoManyPeopleTheyWillKnowThatYou'reWeirdJustGoHome.My inner critic is like a tabloid headline"Awfully dressed millenial embarrasses herself in public. Ag...

read more
Tags:
anxiety,
inner critic
  • 1
  • 0
  • 0
  • 1

new year

So the New Year ...

read more
Tags:
  • 0
  • 0
  • 1
  • 0

What is Recovery

What Does Recovery Mean to You? This is an age old question, I've answered it a few times and I think I've answered it differently every single time I've done it. It all comes down to one thi...

read more
Tags:
Eating disorder,
Autism
  • 3
  • 2
  • 2
  • 0