Recognising A Turbulent Pattern In Life

I would like to share two areas of self observation; One is in experiencing consolation with God and the other is while experiencing desolation without Him.
For me desolation is accompanied by an added danger when it is prolonged or aggravated by my mental illness. I feel an anxiety that I might not recover from it at all.
On the other hand consolation becomes worrying when due to slight mania things are too good for too long, like a euphoria. Again there is an anxiety associated with this because deep down I begin to feel something is not right.
So I always experience some level of anxiety towards the end of these cycles as I am tried and tested by God in life's events.
Under daily stresses I see-saw between these two realms as I engage in my work. I do not get unwell right away but the experience is a challenge and I can tire quite quickly and will need more rest than is usual to recover. However unchecked it will lead to being very unwell.
On the whole positive stress is very good as it is part of life's motivation and continual learning. Negative stress is the other educator that requires the same amount of emotional resilience and determination. Two sides of the same coin which are well known to sufferers and the people they engage with.
All this turbulence is very important to me as I reflect with maturity that it makes up the majority of my spiritual life experience while I strive to maintain an adequate exterior life.
Mental illness does not stop me receiving God's grace but that never means I should ever forget I have an illness to live with in space and time among men and all that it entails.

Add your reaction
  • 1
  • 0
  • 1
  • 0

O To Pursue The New

Pursuing new things is exhausting and taxes the emotions of my illness. I am aware that others may always be doing and trying new things. I can not keep up with them.I would be happy with a few new things every now and then. I would be h...

read more
Tags:
Newness
  • 0
  • 1
  • 2
  • 0

An Ode To Livid Fathers

So I was born to adult life with a damaged money gene to provide with? To the incandescent rage of my father and to the consternation of my contemporaries! Excruciating!So I am glad I got myself baptised with this faulty treasure. I say,...

read more
Tags:
Forgiveness
  • 2
  • 0
  • 1
  • 1

The Fires Of The Day

O, to possess a talent for lasting the whole day, week, month or year!Those monolithic fortresses are gifts I can only hope to admire.I may never realise them securely.I work, I am strong but it does not last, I am consumed...

read more
Tags:
Lived Experience,
Reality
  • 0
  • 0
  • 2
  • 1

My Positive Perspective on My Journey

A POSITIVE UPDATE ON MY RECOVERYIts been a few months now since I have written anything as at the time I was revisiting areas which require more input from counselling which I am still awaiting.  An upda...

read more
Tags:
coping strategies,
taking control
  • 0
  • 0
  • 2
  • 1

Being My Own Best Friend

being my own best friend. I often think what it would be like if I could be as nice and kind to myself as I am to others?Enormous amounts of physical and mental energy goes into helping others - in my world anyway...

read more
Tags:
recovery,
self care
  • 0
  • 1
  • 0
  • 1

Balance and Peace

JUNFEI HU is in front of lake and there is a willow in the centre of island. He is the Guardian of earth. His power is from authority of stone succeeded from nature. His dream is making the world peace. He claimed he is peace maker and now he...

read more
Tags:
#speakyourtruth
  • 0
  • 7
  • 5
  • 0