Your Problem

I am never an angry person but the one thing that does make me super angry is when people use mugs for juice. Mugs are meant for hot drinks such as hot chocolate and coffee. I have realised that stems from because my mum puts juice in a cup. Well she claims it juice. Juice with alcohol. She claims its juice or water but I know the signs of her body language. I got used to the signs over the years. Her speech, her eyes, her body language. It has become second nature to me without me even knowing. I have become a carer and I didn't even know. I am a silent carer. A carer who does not know how many times I can tell my mum she has a problem. A problem that is effecting more than her.

10 minutes ago I was going to write in the happy section before I took a drink of water from a quickly rinsed cup. Within the water I tasted the residue of wine. The residue from your hidden problem. The hidden problem is that good that dad and I know about it. You think you are smart but we have become smarter. It must be exhausting for you trying to hide your problem. Trying to find places to hide it, to be like a secret agent.

I want you to use something else to help your problems and not just to empty bottles. I hate it. I hate it so much. It is your problem, not mine. So therefore I can't do anything about it. I'll watch from the side-lines until you realise.

I love you but I hate this problem.

Add your reaction
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

Drinking

I don't like swearing. I just don't like it. I get swore at when you are angry. Usually when you are angry you might also have been drinking. I don't like the tone of your voice when you have been drinking. I don't like the way ...

read more
Tags:
alcohol

Supportive

The people that I do rely on the most is my friends and family. They have been there for me through thick and thin. They are always there encouraging me on. Being my cheerleaders on the sidelines. I am so thankful to have such great family and fri...

read more
Tags:
peer support,
support

Arguments

"You's don't do nothing" a continuous phrase droned on and on within our house. Well thanks for just putting me down. I don't need you to do that as I can put myself down quite fine. You can't just shout all the time or moan and groan. If you do t...

read more
Tags:
Arguments
  • 1
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

My Weakness

Please Note: This story references sexual abuse and trauma.

MY WEAKNESSI feel so angry with myself for being weak and allowing myself to be manipulated and used and question myself daily why did I let this happen?  Am I so desperate for lo...

read more
Tags:
anger,
recovery
  • 0
  • 0
  • 2
  • 0

need to take that risk

Why this? Why now? Why not?Feel mad as I often fail.Or often feel misunderstood.Or I don't know what to say, or how to say it.Deep huh?I so often end up getting into a fight with myself- if you know what I...

read more
Tags:
  • 0
  • 0
  • 1
  • 0

Love power

Love can make me angryThinking you’re givingBut not seen as receiving Trying to retreatBut looking like you’re taking defeat Wanting status quo But neithe...

read more
Tags:
strength
  • 0
  • 0
  • 1
  • 0