I am never an angry person but the one thing that does make me super angry is when people use mugs for juice. Mugs are meant for hot drinks such as hot chocolate and coffee. I have realised that stems from because my mum puts juice in a cup. Well she claims it juice. Juice with alcohol. She claims its juice or water but I know the signs of her body language. I got used to the signs over the years. Her speech, her eyes, her body language. It has become second nature to me without me even knowing. I have become a carer and I didn't even know. I am a silent carer. A carer who does not know how many times I can tell my mum she has a problem. A problem that is effecting more than her.
10 minutes ago I was going to write in the happy section before I took a drink of water from a quickly rinsed cup. Within the water I tasted the residue of wine. The residue from your hidden problem. The hidden problem is that good that dad and I know about it. You think you are smart but we have become smarter. It must be exhausting for you trying to hide your problem. Trying to find places to hide it, to be like a secret agent.
I want you to use something else to help your problems and not just to empty bottles. I hate it. I hate it so much. It is your problem, not mine. So therefore I can't do anything about it. I'll watch from the side-lines until you realise.
I love you but I hate this problem.
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