I am writing to gain control of my thoughts and emotions. Away from the smouldering adversity that flares up against me. Spiritual life tested with the barbs of mental illness to procure the product of mental health and well being. The purified gold of a healthy mind. That is writing for recovery to me. Based on a true desire to find peace or to find it at last.
Reflecting, I say to myself......
“Never let them say you did not work for it. That you did not dig deep enough. Has your resilience ever really let you down despite the torments? The ladder you built, the well you dug, the mine you founded. You were industrious and scrupulous about being well after so much excruciating anxiety. After black thinking and wave after wave of unreality blowing like a hurricane across the land of your intelligence.”
My spiritual life is based on the realities of my mental health. It is a derivative of it, in fact, when I first tried to be spiritual I realised there was something poorly with my health. It was the starting point of navigating truths about life at the critical threshold of becoming an adult.
Having a breakdown and being forced to live with the consequences of mental illness as a result for the rest of my life has not stopped me from developing a healthy respect for Man and God. It has made it easier because of the unusual trials and desolation.
I was not brought up with any religious beliefs or convictions. I had to go and find them for myself as a young adult. I felt I had the human right and the integrity to educate myself and gently practice a faith despite my mental health.
It has taken courage and perseverance to grow in faith, day by day and accept the way the world behaves while trying to make it a better place to live in.
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