Thirst

DON'T DRINK THIS WEEKEND! DON'T DRINK THIS WEEKEND! DON'T DRINK THIS WEEKEND! DON'T DRINK THIS WEEKEND! DON'T DRINK THIS WEEKEND! DON'T DRINK THIS WEEKEND! DON'T DRINK THIS WEEKEND! DON'T DRINK THIS WEEKEND! DON'T DRINK THIS WEEKEND! DON'T DRINK THIS WEEKEND! DON'T DRINK THIS WEEKEND! On and on and on and on, Pimms on the peripheral, Gin in the genes, Vodka in the vortex of my inner cortex, like a shadow, never too far from my psyche.

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Ugly thoughts

Please note: this story references suicide. I was wearing a scarf earlier and I had to take it off because I started to hear the thoughts again, 'Kill yourself'... It creeps in amongst the normal thoughts like 'I'd better go and do the dish...

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Tags:
suicide,
borderline personality disorder
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Seeing the psychiatrist when they don't see you.

My usual psychiatrist is off sick. 'You don't seem emotionally unstable to me at the moment' said the Dr, who I'd sat with for under half an hour. Yeah mate, that's not really what Emotionally Unstable/Borderline Personality Disorder is. You shou...

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Diagnosis,
EUPD
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Night Time

I wake myself up crying, the real primal kind, where the tears don't come before the wailing, and the writhing in the pit of the stomach. I curl up in fetal position, as if folding myself in half will somehow squeeze out the pain, or maybe...

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Breaking Free

I am not what happened to me, or said about me. I am an adopted child of God. 

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I Am And I Am Not

How do I manage fluctuating strength? By routinely testing my can and can't do capacity. I try to maintain a steady well-being under varying degrees of stress. When, then, is it safe to unlock my will power?It takes discernment, judg...

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Tags:
coping,
strategies
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The core of me

I peel back a layer of myself one at a time. I wait for the sting to reach my eyes, to reach your eyes. If I peel them all back will you like the core of me? The rough and tough part, the part where the seeds of my past reside. Will you take ca...

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Tags:
#connection,
#powerofvulnerability
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