Please Note: This piece contains references to self harm
Self harm relief and grief.
It took me a long time to realise how much of a doubled edged sword cutting myself was. I'd do it and feel better, lighter, freer and then in the morning the recriminations would start. How do I hide it from family? How deep is the cut? How big will the scar be? Shame, fear and the big question; was it really worth it?
I now live with scares on my inner forearms , they are not nice and are really kind of obvious, but now I feel no shame about them, they mark some of the worst parts of my life and so far I'm still around.
They will never go away, but the urges to add more scars are not as strong as they once were and I am now able to think clearly about my reasons and am able to accept the responsibility for my actions. Well that and a fear of my oldest child asking difficult questions of me.
My advice? Keep going,even when you see no light, it is still there and in time it will be revealed to you.
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