There is Freedom-Reach Out-Ask for Help


I remember how hard the struggle was to admit I had a problem. My pride and delusional thinking always wanted to overpower the reality. My alcohol use was numbing my pain. Flowing through my bloodstream like a vicious cycle of raging vengeance that gave me a fearless feeling of confidence and strength. When the alcohol wasn’t present, the reality set in. I was sad, depressed, and fucking hopeless. I felt like a worthless piece of shit that was never going to heal. I thought I could never face reality, and that all the positive posts on social media were just a bunch of crap. How could they really be happy? And sober? The reality is that they can be happy and sober, and so can you. I’m not here to tell that the last three and a half clean and sober years of my life have been all sunshine and rainbows. I’m here to tell you the struggle is real, denial is huge, and acceptance is key. I’m here to tell you that you are not alone in this fight. Those positive posts from friends, loved ones, and strangers are true. They do care, and they do want to hear from you. Even that stranger you just followed on Instagram that posts all those quotes about life and positivity-yea, they care. The one thing I know from experience is that the most depressingly scary and painful times, the times where all hope was seemingly faded, there was someone somewhere out there struggling much worse than me. At the same time, there was also someone somewhere out there that loved me much more than I loved myself. While I’m not a religious, but a spiritual person, I’m also a child of the unconditionally loving God of my understanding. The same God that I thought I failed, and had failed me, brought me from darkness to light. He brought me to brighter and happier days. The pain I thought would never go away was healed by a power greater than myself. The empty holes and hopelessness were filled. The first step for me to heal and recover was to admit that I had a problem. I then had to realize I couldn’t fight this disease alone, so I had to let myself be vulnerable and ask for help. The pain you’re feeling is temporary, and with each new day you’re blessed with, you have the power to make it a better day than the day before. Before the beastly gripping disease or illness buries you in a cold, dark coffin, reach out. Ask for help. Know you are loved. Never forget that. Reach out to that loved one or stranger, stay strong, and beat that fucking disease’s ass with wisdom and courage. Lastly, anticipate the wondrous surprises to come in the new life you never imagined was possible.

Blessings,
Stephanie Schilling

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