How Can You Understand ?!

How can you begin to understand a messed up mixed up depressed mind. I fear I’ll never be understood, I fear the more ppl I encounter with will run when they try to piece together or understand me as a whole! Me explaining why I think like that or why I act like that is as hard as solving a math problem without being taught. I can’t explain it , I wouldn’t know where to begin or where to end. Do I start from how I use to cut?, nah that a def scare them away or do I start from when I was once suicidal ?, nope can’t start there, I might never hear the end of it ! Maybe I end it where I deal with it, That might get them to stay but they still wouldn’t get it or maybe I end it where I got help and I think I’m fine, that should get them to understand and stay but then I’ll be covering up the real me, I’ll be covering up what made me the strong woman I am today. How do I get them to understand what made me, without them running to the nearest EXIT ! Or should I just tell my story and don’t worry about the critics , then they will understand and if they leave they just leave. Yes I was a cutter, a victim of molestation, once suicidal, a person who suffers from depression. If your going to leave see you 👋✌️. Only the strong survive and I believe the more I let it out the more help I get, the more I help myself ! I’m a survivor, I have a disease that ppl take lightly not knowing that it eats u up inside, first it starts with your mind then it goes to your heart then it travels to the body. When u see the blood flow out u know your closer to death then ever before. The mind is the most powerful thing and once it gets there it eats it up until u decide the only solution death! But how can you begin to understand ?!

“Depression starts talking and his voice is raspy, ‘Cause he ain’t shut the fuck up in three and a half weeks”

Add your reaction
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 1

Let Me Speak

The fear of having no voice. I scream & shout but still there’s no sound. . . I lost my voice well I thought I did. So I stop writing & I stop believing. All my misbeliefs and heartache and overthinking started consuming my mind body & soul. Not ...

read more
Tags:
depression,
suicide
  • 1
  • 1
  • 0
  • 0

A Little Talk

Jenn im proud of you ! you have came along way from where you started. You have a job and working full time and have been for the past couple years and i love that about you and you set some goals to accomplish. We just need you to start on them g...

read more
Tags:
  • 0
  • 1
  • 0
  • 0

Turn round and face it

Turn round and face itThat first bottle of cider set me free, it was as though a button had been pressed in my heart and all the hurt, pain and worry simply blew away like a leaf in the wind.  It was the solu...

read more
Tags:
depression.,
recovery.
  • 0
  • 0
  • 1
  • 1

Through the spin cycle

I dont feel quite right today. So here I am again... I have an art class to attend and Im struggling with getting my act together.  I feel like im not part of anything or anyone.  This distance will keep me at home if I dont push...

read more
Tags:
small steps,
positive
  • 1
  • 0
  • 2
  • 2

vaginismus

argh!feel worried as I read more

Tags:
  • 1
  • 0
  • 1
  • 0