Cage (War Inside My Head)

Please Note: This Story Discusses Suicide. Why are you still here? Was there ever a time when you weren't? I never asked for you to be here, why can't you go away? You say that you're my ally and that you're my only friend, why do you corrupt me? They're not against me.

You have a silver tongue that tells me lies, yet when I try to overpower you and resist, I always lose. You keep telling me to cut everyone out, is that what you want, to be alone together?

I am the puppet and you are the puppet master, I am helpless, you always win. The rage I feel towards you, get out of my head, I'd rather take us both out than live with you any longer. You are poison, cancer, we don't see eye to eye because I can't see you, but if I could, I'd beat the hell out of you and stomp your head in.

You say you know what's best for me, to head back to my room because no one can hurt us there, we can be alone together. I snap out of it and tell you to go to hell, someone hears us but I don't care, you're right, they are the enemy.

If I had a gun, I'd blow you away, I'm far past caring that I'd be a casualty in this war, negotiations have failed and the only option now is to destroy you. Last warning, get the hell out of here or I will gun you down...

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Stream of Consciousness

Am I good enough to keep going? At times I feel like no one is by my side, even though that is a lie. I have a very good friend that I have known for the past 10 years, but I have no idea why he sticks by me. Most people have turned their backs on...

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Tags:
Negative Thinking,
Self Doubt
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Blue Room

When I was with you, way back, sitting next to you on that blue couch with our feet on the blue carpet, eating nachos and playing video games with nothing but the glow from the television as our light source. Those nights were the best, the days w...

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Tags:
Happy,
Hope

Straggler

Its been 8 years. 8 long years... How have I survived this long? The urge to end it all comes and goes, yet when I reach my highest, I am still unhappy. I should be happy, not much is going wrong in my life and most things are going right. I w...

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Tags:
depression,
Helplessness

The injustice of not being heard, seen, validated.

I remember one day in primary school. It must have had quite the impact because I've never forgotten it (40 odd years later, give or take ;-)We were doing some sort of spelling/geography quiz....name a place and ask someone to spell ...

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Tags:
anger,
childhood
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My Experience of Anger to Date...

I haven't felt anger for years, I've managed to numb myself from it.  I was always told to not get angry! A forbidden emotion when I was growing up.  If I did get angry, I was made to feel completely and utterly ashamed w...

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Tags:
Hope,
Anger
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The Deepest Sorrow

I wish I felt anything but anger when I see a pregnant woman, affectionately caressing the home in which her baby grows safely. Pain wears the veil of anger so as not to be seen. It buries itself deep in the heart of me where it is safe fr...

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Tags:
depression,
anger
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