Cage (War Inside My Head)

Please Note: This Story Discusses Suicide. Why are you still here? Was there ever a time when you weren't? I never asked for you to be here, why can't you go away? You say that you're my ally and that you're my only friend, why do you corrupt me? They're not against me.

You have a silver tongue that tells me lies, yet when I try to overpower you and resist, I always lose. You keep telling me to cut everyone out, is that what you want, to be alone together?

I am the puppet and you are the puppet master, I am helpless, you always win. The rage I feel towards you, get out of my head, I'd rather take us both out than live with you any longer. You are poison, cancer, we don't see eye to eye because I can't see you, but if I could, I'd beat the hell out of you and stomp your head in.

You say you know what's best for me, to head back to my room because no one can hurt us there, we can be alone together. I snap out of it and tell you to go to hell, someone hears us but I don't care, you're right, they are the enemy.

If I had a gun, I'd blow you away, I'm far past caring that I'd be a casualty in this war, negotiations have failed and the only option now is to destroy you. Last warning, get the hell out of here or I will gun you down...

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Stream of Consciousness

Am I good enough to keep going? At times I feel like no one is by my side, even though that is a lie. I have a very good friend that I have known for the past 10 years, but I have no idea why he sticks by me. Most people have turned their backs on...

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Tags:
Negative Thinking,
Self Doubt

Blue Room

When I was with you, way back, sitting next to you on that blue couch with our feet on the blue carpet, eating nachos and playing video games with nothing but the glow from the television as our light source. Those nights were the best, the days w...

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Tags:
Happy,
Hope

Straggler

Its been 8 years. 8 long years... How have I survived this long? The urge to end it all comes and goes, yet when I reach my highest, I am still unhappy. I should be happy, not much is going wrong in my life and most things are going right. I w...

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Tags:
depression,
Helplessness

My Weakness

Please Note: This story references sexual abuse and trauma.

MY WEAKNESSI feel so angry with myself for being weak and allowing myself to be manipulated and used and question myself daily why did I let this happen?  Am I so desperate for lo...

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Tags:
anger,
recovery
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need to take that risk

Why this? Why now? Why not?Feel mad as I often fail.Or often feel misunderstood.Or I don't know what to say, or how to say it.Deep huh?I so often end up getting into a fight with myself- if you know what I...

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Love power

Love can make me angryThinking you’re givingBut not seen as receiving Trying to retreatBut looking like you’re taking defeat Wanting status quo But neithe...

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Tags:
strength
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