My Personal Storm

I have a book full of ideas about things to write about. One of them is "a storm destroys your uncle's shed and kills his six year old son. Describe the colour of the sky right before the storm hit."

This is my personal storm.

I never noticed my sky because it never occurred to me that it would change. Looking back to right before the storm hit, I suppose the sky was huge and heavy, a jumble of different colours, weathers, and clouds. There was so much sky that it was overwhelming. The colours were probably still bright and vibrant in some parts of the sky but the black of desperate burning was quickly closing in on the other colours.

There were dark red clouds of fury, directed at myself, a simple and deep kind of hatred. Depression is usually represented by the colour black, I was black inside and out and the sky was a brilliant white where it was so easy to see that I was different from the world around me.

The storm didn't come suddenly but right before it hit the sky was as it had always been, no different to anyone but myself. The storm hit and the sky became the colour of flames. I am scared of fire. I was scared of the storm and what it was doing to me. The sky was orange and black with smoke and there was no rain to put the fire out. The rain eventually came and the sky became grey, as it mostly remains.

Maybe there will be another storm that blows away the grey revealing the true colours underneath.

Add your reaction
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

The Stigma of BPD - Seen in Professionals

I was initially diagnosed with depression and after a while borderline personality disorder was diagnosed too. This is how I experienced the change in attitudes when this happened. I am depressed - we are here at any time I have BPD - stop was...

read more
Tags:
stigma,
depression

Trying to Describe Emptiness

How can I write about and describe feeling empty and emotionless when those words imply that there is nothing there? Blank. I know I am distressed about 'feeling' this way but I can't feel that distress. I am disconnected from experiencing my emot...

read more
Tags:

Emotions

They will come Every day I expect them but they are still Unexpected They do not come in short bursts They come in a huge overwhelming blast No way out of my body Sometimes I cry but They don't come out in my tears Automatically I bleed b...

read more
Tags:
Poem,
emotions

Acceptance?

I've begun to realize that I've been suffering from recurrent depression for the best part of my life starting from around age 14 or possibly younger. The difference recently has been the matter of actually accepting this about me, rath...

read more
Tags:
Depression,
self acceptance
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 1

Good Enough

The idea of not being good enough was planted in my head a long time ago by people who didn’t know any better: who had ridiculous standards, and values that were completely out of alignment with mine. The bar they set f...

read more
Tags:
  • 1
  • 1
  • 1
  • 1

Life's an Enigma

Is it wrong to care about people? Even when they really don't care about you? Is it wrong to act like a concerned parent when you really are nothing to them? Is it wrong to worry about nothing? Is it it wrong to think of someone on a consta...

read more
Tags:
  • 1
  • 0
  • 2
  • 0