I love to eat and I now enjoy cooking. I cook casseroles, lamb and get my ideas from recipes on Google or my boyfriend. Once upon a time my cooking skills were burnt pizza,fish fingers and twizzlers. The thing I didn't burn was chicken,that's because I took it straight from the freezer wrapped it in foil and placed it in the oven. I took it out the oven a couple of hours later, it looked cooked on the outside but when I cut into it yes that's right, it was raw.
My cooking skills were zero. My boyfriend has been my inspiration for cooking, I met him two years ago. He loves his food and he loves to cook. I suffered from an eating disorder for many years but managed to over come it when I went into recovery 6years ago. When I met him my eating habits weren't very good, I would check my sandwiches for things I thought I didn't like and would pick at my food when we ate out, his words were "you eat with your eyes". He introduced me slowly to foods I hadn't tried or dare to eat when I was anorexic,he encouraged me to try new things.
It was a slow process but now I love prawns, broccoli, mushrooms, peppers, Indian food, i tried his home made meatballs recipe and other recipes,things I had never tried and I loved it. Why didn't I eat prawns before, I absolutely love them, their my favourite sea food and lamb oh my gosh why I never ate that before...that's my favourite meat. Oh but I make up for what I missed out on now and have plenty of good food. A colleague from work said I was like a food consiure as I can tell him wich places are good for their food as I have eaten in a lot of resturants in Perth and Dundee.
My boyfriend has introduced me to these fine places as we eat out at the weekend.. I would never have went into a restaurant years ago it would have been to stressful for me...one..I didn't like eating in front of people..two my mum would have been watching me closely..lots of other reasons to,up until three years ago I wouldn't have felt good enough to go to a restaurant. Gee,how things have changed.. I suffered from low self esteem from a young age for lots of different reasons and it caused me to have depression, and poor physical and emotional well being. Having low self esteem wich caused my eating disorder takes up a lot of mind space..I constantly battled with depression, suicide attempts and addiction issues.
Then I came to a place of being sick and tired of being sick and tired, but not of living, for the first time in my life I came to a place of wanting to live, I ran out of excuses for my behaviour , I knew I had to make changes, I was aware that time was running out for me. I knew I couldn't make the changes without support so I turned to a Christian organisation/charity as a last resort after medical professionals told me I'd never get well. Havala offered me a life line, I started my journey of recovery and have never looked back, only a glance now and again as a reminder how far I've came.
I still work on my recovery and have learned to make right choices wich helps to keep me well.
Anyway getting back to the cooking thing.... I love to cook and I have been quite adventurous in the kitchen..I have made bread from scratch, made my own sauces for casseroles and currys, I am yet to try homemade soup but am confident i can make it. Can't be hard. My boyfriend told me he's gonna get me a chefs hat as I'm nearly as good a cook as him..but I think I'm a dab hand in the kitchen and just slightly better than he is. Chuckle chuckle.
I am a healthy weight now and the healthiest I've ever been, I like to be healthy and think I have a good balance, I still watch my calorie intake but I'm not obsessed with it. I can catch myself if I'm calorie counting to much and put the lid on it so to say.
Food is a big part of my life now and that makes me happy.
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