Bob's Work Shocks

Bob's Work Shocks
My intelligence tells me I can do more while my illness says I can not. I recover to a point then it goes again making it hard to lead a balanced life. I feel like I am always struggling to start and never quite making it. Picking up the bogey prize when I do for running the race in the first place, hoping I will finish it.
" Is this all I can do, repeat my efforts constantly" wonders Bob. He is curious as to why the results do not seem to add up to much. He is sure the world judges them as poor. However he is also sure he puts in great effort which he feels is recognised.
The world and his effort meet when he tries to do paid work. Bob finds jobs , trains , fails many times under escalating pressures, rests , recovers and does it all over again.
It is a shocking experience to be prepared, ready and willing over and over again. It takes its toll and he has to stop interacting with the job market.
Reflecting he realises the work place does not speak the language of mental health.Why should it, employers assume 100% fitness. How can they allow for the productivity he is capable of under the right conditions tailored to meet his need ?
He is right in thinking that it is a taboo subject which is another shock realisation to cope with.
Candid thoughts he remembers having on the job :
{This is extremely stressful and the learning curve is very steep. I feel very alone with the tasks I need to full fill due to the stress. At times I am hardly able to cope in this environment.I am not made for this industry. All industry is a challenge in whatever I try to do yet I hate unemployment. I guess my recovery has to be more stable for a longer period of time to withstand the pressure to succeed. Its a nerve racking experience but I endure it.}
He reflects again,
The ' can't ' factor runs deep in the work place. Fitness and capability bring in money. Trouble with your health does not unless you are very capable and can hide it. No body can walk into a job declaring poor mental health. All these realisations shock Bob to the core because he has tried very hard with the realities of the economy as it stands today.

Add your reaction
  • 0
  • 0
  • 1
  • 0

O To Pursue The New

Pursuing new things is exhausting and taxes the emotions of my illness. I am aware that others may always be doing and trying new things. I can not keep up with them.I would be happy with a few new things every now and then. I would be h...

read more
Tags:
Newness
  • 0
  • 1
  • 2
  • 0

An Ode To Livid Fathers

So I was born to adult life with a damaged money gene to provide with? To the incandescent rage of my father and to the consternation of my contemporaries! Excruciating!So I am glad I got myself baptised with this faulty treasure. I say,...

read more
Tags:
Forgiveness
  • 2
  • 0
  • 1
  • 1

The Fires Of The Day

O, to possess a talent for lasting the whole day, week, month or year!Those monolithic fortresses are gifts I can only hope to admire.I may never realise them securely.I work, I am strong but it does not last, I am consumed...

read more
Tags:
Lived Experience,
Reality
  • 0
  • 0
  • 2
  • 1

Turn round and face it

Turn round and face itThat first bottle of cider set me free, it was as though a button had been pressed in my heart and all the hurt, pain and worry simply blew away like a leaf in the wind.  It was the solu...

read more
Tags:
depression.,
recovery.
  • 0
  • 0
  • 1
  • 1

Through the spin cycle

I dont feel quite right today. So here I am again... I have an art class to attend and Im struggling with getting my act together.  I feel like im not part of anything or anyone.  This distance will keep me at home if I dont push...

read more
Tags:
small steps,
positive
  • 1
  • 0
  • 2
  • 2

vaginismus

argh!feel worried as I read more

Tags:
  • 1
  • 0
  • 1
  • 0