Sharing the secret

Please note: this story references self harm.

My daughter discovered for the first time that I have used self harm as an coping mechanisim.  It all happened yesterday when she noticed a scar on my arm.  Her eyes widened and she asked me "Is that an accident or was it intentional?"  It all happened so quickly, my mind racing, reality, cover up, reality cover up?   I looked deep into her eyes and decided to tell her the truth.   I felt at 28 she is old enough to hear it. This is one of the most difficult things I have had to tell my child.  She burst into tears and cried for a long time and while she was crying she told me how much she loved me and how important I am in her and her sisters lives.  She was so insightful around this issue, I became humbled. We hugged for ages and she cried for me, for herself and for her sisters.  "What would we do without you mum?"  My heart breaking for putting my child in this position and I don't know what to do to make it better.  I don't know how ths will pan out and I definitely do not want my children worrying about me in this way. So far so good even though I feel weird about letting this secret out.  We  have managed to chat about it and reassure one another.  She promised she would not tell the world and I assured her that I am pro-active in my recovery and with the help of Write to Recovery platform I am getting better.

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Through the spin cycle

I dont feel quite right today. So here I am again... I have an art class to attend and Im struggling with getting my act together.  I feel like im not part of anything or anyone.  This distance will keep me at home if I dont push...

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small steps,
positive
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Lucky to be alive

Please Note: This piece contains references to suicide and abuse

My morning ritual commences - cuppa tea, roll up and head space zooming all over the universe.  Today, for the first time I can remember 'lucky to be alive' was where my spaceship lan...

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recovery,
self harm
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Why?

Please note: this story references self harm.

I've started checking in on write to recovery in the mornings.  Sometimes I have no words to share and when this happens I read the stories shared by my fellow writers until the floodgates creak open....I cut myself last ni...

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compassion,
Self harm
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Turn round and face it

Turn round and face itThat first bottle of cider set me free, it was as though a button had been pressed in my heart and all the hurt, pain and worry simply blew away like a leaf in the wind.  It was the solu...

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depression.,
recovery.
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Through the spin cycle

I dont feel quite right today. So here I am again... I have an art class to attend and Im struggling with getting my act together.  I feel like im not part of anything or anyone.  This distance will keep me at home if I dont push...

read more
Tags:
small steps,
positive
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vaginismus

argh!feel worried as I read more

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