I haven't felt anger for years, I've managed to numb myself from it. I was always told to not get angry! A forbidden emotion when I was growing up. If I did get angry, I was made to feel completely and utterly ashamed with myself and I came to the conclusion I was bad. This dynamic was perpetrated by my family. Who btw were allowed to express this emotion and usually I was their sitting duck, the bad one deserving of it's wrath. I still am! I tried so very hard to be 'good' but it was never enough. The family would get me to do chores etc because they knew I would jump at the chance to be 'good' I feel so used! Alas, I dont feel angry about it, not yet anyway. What Im hoping is that when this anger surfaces I will be ready for it and direct it in positive ways to help myself. Someone once said to me "The best revenge you can get, is to be kind to yourself"
My future self having felt anger around my traumas will look something like this:
1. I will recognise where it has come from and why
2. I will attempt to channel the energy positivly and healthily
3. I will try to put it into an activity, that will allow my wellbeing to benefit in a beautiful way
4. I will remember, anger is not a shameful emotion, rather, its necessary to process past traumas fully
5. I will not turn anger in on myself!!!
- This Moved Me
- Thanks for Sharing
- This Helped Me