Suicidal Tendencies

Please note; this story makes reference to suicide

Part of my condition is that I suffer from suicidal thoughts and think about ending it often.  On holiday a couple of years ago,  I went for a swim in the sea, the current pulled me out and when I tried to swim back to shore I struggled with its power.  I thought, "Im not getting back, Im going to drown!"  I could see my sister on the beach, I was tiring quickly, the waves were crashing onto me, dragging my back, pulling further and further from land out into the vast Adriatic Sea.  Survival instinct kicked in somehow and I thought, "Im not dying today", Im on my holidays and enjoying myself so  I swam and swam with all my might mental as well as physical...Eyes focused on the shore, my sister and life. I felt the sea take me a couple of times, but I was determined, more determined than I've ever been, it just kicked in...eventually the waves crashed me into some rocks which was painful but at least I was back on dry land.  My sister said I should've swam slong the coast line and not out so far.  Shaken, I went to my hotel room for a lie down.  I thought 'when it comes to the crunch I chose survival'.  I could've let the sea swallow me up but I did not!  This gives me hope...

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Yummy afternoon...

I went out for afternoon tea today with my sister, we were given a 3 tiered plate each. The bottom plate had  sandwiches, smoked salmon, hummous, ham, cheese and salad.The middle plate had a fruit scone, clotted cream an...

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mental health,
recovery
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Thoughts for today....

Often I find it difficult to concentrate.  My mind wanders off into realms I mostly care not to remember, difficult times and situations not for the faint hearted.  But, with perseverance and thanks to Write to Recovery site I...

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freedom,
self care
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Hope

Distant Fading eyesWatchingWaitingWillingSure enough<...

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Life,
Hope
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Cruel Life

Please note; this story makes reference to suicide

So my friends 11 year old son died in his sleep yesterday. How cruel is this world?Many times people in this world have been taken way too soon and i always think about me trying to take my own relatively healthy life. I used...

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Death,
Life
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toxic atmosphere

humph...! read more

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My Recovery Rocks

Please note: this story references suicide.

10 years i have been known to the MHT, although i have had mental health issues for as long as i can remember. I have been through so much. On many occasions i didnt e...

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Tags:
mental health,
Recovery
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