Please note; this story makes reference to suicide
Part of my condition is that I suffer from suicidal thoughts and think about ending it often. On holiday a couple of years ago, I went for a swim in the sea, the current pulled me out and when I tried to swim back to shore I struggled with its power. I thought, "Im not getting back, Im going to drown!" I could see my sister on the beach, I was tiring quickly, the waves were crashing onto me, dragging my back, pulling further and further from land out into the vast Adriatic Sea. Survival instinct kicked in somehow and I thought, "Im not dying today", Im on my holidays and enjoying myself so I swam and swam with all my might mental as well as physical...Eyes focused on the shore, my sister and life. I felt the sea take me a couple of times, but I was determined, more determined than I've ever been, it just kicked in...eventually the waves crashed me into some rocks which was painful but at least I was back on dry land. My sister said I should've swam slong the coast line and not out so far. Shaken, I went to my hotel room for a lie down. I thought 'when it comes to the crunch I chose survival'. I could've let the sea swallow me up but I did not! This gives me hope...
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