don't want to be me- in this life

hmm...

yesterday

lots of weird stuff happened-

someone hacked into messenger
and left some rude messages

on facebook

(my cousin contacted me

and told me)

I think I know how it happened-

I must have forgotten to log out

on a shared computer-

I will have to be more careful in future!

feel as though my privacy has been invaded

today

went to creative writing
and got very fed up 
with all the talk
and not at all inspired to write!

yesterday

lady b left me an odd, up-setting email

about her dad

in A&E

he's coughing up blood

having trouble breathing 

do I reply?

(I replied to the first one)

what to write?
everytime I write she draws me in

he might die

and all I think about is myself

I'm a bad

selfish friend

I'm no friend at all

yesterday

went to the library
to ask about volunteering-
then they started to train me
on the spot!

It was too much

made an excuse, and left

it wasn't for me

what is?

what do I want to do with my life?

today

keep looking at F's pictures on Instagram

(she's my EX-lover's daughter!)
why?

she's beautiful, and I envy her

because she's near HIM

and I'm not

because she's an artist

and I'm not

because, because, because

because I don't want to be me

in this life
 

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