O what a gift independence is! To secure a reality through hard work. To have worked alone and single-handedly though no man is an island. Surely this will woe employers in these failing times I am hard-wired to believe?
In the meantime and there is a long meantime it is OK not to have obtained this virtue to the degree they are looking for or for what is right and fair for me. Coping with an illness and 'doing' in the world are occupations and accomplishments in themselves and 'should' be enough.
However I am urged to tip the balance of my health towards an economic reality which qualifies me to be an independent person differently from what I believe to be safe thus applying my illness to a new reality. This change is demanding and hard to sustain, but not impossible to recover from in short sequences. It is a perilous journey.
Praying to Jesus through my adult life has helped me with this perennial struggle. Patience, resilience, fortitude. So that the true measure of myself is invisible to the world. Only becoming visible when faith, hope and love are present. Building capacity to obtain fulfilment with the energy and resources available.
I realize that a single-handed approach to life is famously as well as notoriously difficult in these deadly times and is driven or governed by my health and circumstances.
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