Being marooned in mental illness and its prolongation takes endurance but I believe it will yield a genuine goal to satisfy my soul if I give it time.
Regularly I still sense that my contemporaries have had a purpose, meaning and healthy action which I have been robbed of all my life.
This I feel is a cynical lie which I tell myself deep in my programming, untrue in the wider perspective of things.
Why do I need to be like anyone else? It is a delusion not reality. What am I afraid of missing?
I have to flip the coin of this angst and continue to believe in a higher purpose.
I experience two personal lives, one sick and one with a measure of recovered health, combined in the amalgam of daily living, influencing my movements.
Unwaveringly, I hope and meditate on an island in my mind for a time of solid rescue which may or may not come.
The island is my mental refuge surrounded by purple water and a pink sky. I understand how blue the sea and sky used to be in another life of complete health. I am grateful for a green recovery.
Yes I am crushed with the experience of having witnessed so many shades of living in varying degrees from these prime, enduring domains…..
One purple, one blue and one green.
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