Stabilisers

I remember my dad fitting my sisters old stabilisers onto my new but second hand bike. I remember the tools and him checking and double checking his handiwork. Then he taped a square flap of thick cardboard onto the forks so it would rub against the spokes and make a tcka tcka noise, so I could pretend it was a motorbike!

I remember thinking how he could fix anything and make any toy or game better or more fun!

I remember the day when I got mood stabilisers. The doctor sat with their tools, or weapon of choice, of pen and prescription pad. I remember him reeling off the long list of side effects, the endless questions, the disapproving, worried looks from my sister. I remember thinking, what does this mean? What does any of this mean? Are these going to help me or cause me more grief?

Come and fix this dad, I'm not having fun any more! And I want to pretend again...
I want to pretend that everything's okay.

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