Mother

This story references abuse.

You had me but i never had you

Why did you do the things that you'd do

Why was i made to feel like the outcast of the family

Couldn't you see the effect it would have on me

 

You and my father filled my youth with fear

Every time you both were near

I couldn't make a noise when you had a nap

Too scared to talk or even run a tap

 

As long as you got to your bingo

In Castlemilk or the Gorbals

You said you were never like my Nana

But all you ever were was drama

 

How could you take part in the abuse

You both put your hands and voice to good use

All you had to do was make a stand

Or if need be make a final demand

 

That the abuse stops now

Everywhere and anyhow

But you couldn't because you were as guilty as he was

For you felt your actions were a justified cause

 

Times change and life moves on

Yes those times may be gone

But i know i don't have you even though you had me

But in the past i can't let it be

 

To me now you are a trigger

Your status in my life just gets bigger

But i will try to comprehend

Just how to live with this and just pretend

 

That in your life you didn't deserve

All the things that life would serve

All the things you thought you would savour

But it left my life without flavour

 

I've never understood why you did this to me

You always said we were connected and you didn't need to see

What were my feelings or emotions

Because you said we had a connection as big as the oceans

 

But even with this connection

You couldn't tell that you were my detriment

The connection must have been a one way line

Because my receiver has been broken for all my time

 

So now the connection has been disconnected

How will our lives be effected

We both know what the other is thinking

Can we get out of this sinking

 

I will put my faith in the number 9

I will look out for my life's signs

You will never have me again

And i will have to live my life with this pain.

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Me

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Ground Yourself. Back in the Room.4-7-8.Breathe and continue.  “What was that like for you?”Time stops.I can no longer disconnectfrom my dif...

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Me

Please note: this story references suicidal thinking

Feeling like i have an alter egoI try to find me and wonder where did me goTrying to decide who is the real meAlter ego or not will i ever see The layers are many and thickI don't know which me...

read more
Tags:
life,
history
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