• toxic atmosphere

    humph...!ms Mhad a go at methis Mondayfor not supporting herlast Fridaywhen 3 womenwere shouting at heram sick of all the dramaand tantrums! alsothe guy to my left read more

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  • substitute family

    have picture in local paperabout the centrethe celebration of 25yrs of the charitythe exhibitionthat I was inI meant to wave at the camerabut it looks like I'm doinga peace signmaaaannnn!ha!my friend Mlooks like she's peed herself!people are smiling
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  • being kind to yourself

    Yesterdaywent for an all day talkaboutbeing kind to yourselfWhat was the last kind thing someone did for you?I got an unexpected present from the centre,full of things to help me as a carer-an elastic band for when I feel stretcheda safety pin to keep people safe read more

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  • I will value this space-exhibition opening

    what can I say?the exhibition opening was successfulM sold her big rose paintingF sold her picture of the scales-which represented her lifeI had some interestas inpeople wanting to chat to meabout my workand what it meant to me read more

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  • argy bargy in the art room

    argy bargy in the art roomMiss Mturns uplateand wants her pictures changed-there's only a few hours beforewe open3 angry womenshout at herfor swanning aroundand not doing any work read more

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  • pandemonium

    todaygrrr....did a re-hangas pictures fell downthe new wall hashooks that I can't useand a metal round thingy wotsitthat I had to cover upwith a big paintingplus the police came inas someone had hidden kniveson the roofand R was rushing around so muchthat he ...

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  • put themselves in the picture

    today-wedsphew!feel very hot and stickyhave been busybut it'snice busyas I'm preparing for a group exhibitionsent email to Ras I wasn't happy with my displayhe was cool about itand agreed to change itwith meI took everything down on Tuesand put up some new stuff
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  • SUNday Wah!

    SUNdayWah!went through my work and couldn't findtwo paintingswhich go with another fourwhich are all about HIMand the break-upgot upsetand started cryingand got angrywhy don't I have storage space?why don't I have a studiowhy do I give my pictures away?SATIn the open studiospeople were selling their paintingsor £2-3000!why not me?I'm just ...

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  • the strong woman

    todayWord seems to get aroundabout peopleat the centreA certain person is argumentativeand everyone seems to know about itWent to yoga this afternoonand avoidedthat personthat people told me stuff aboutI slowed downI ate my sandwich and drank my teaon a convenient benchin the streetI try to get along with most peopleI ...

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  • lovely HIMself

    Sunday M took 2 sleeping tablets by mistakelast nighthe started to panicand I kept telling him to shut-upand stop worrying so muchI told him to sleep with mebut then, he made too much noise snoring-so I went in the other roomand sorted through my picturesmy god!I have so manyhe is now going to de-tox clinicam fed-up and wish I could ...

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  • The Bogeyman

    Please Note: This piece contains dark themes

     Wrote this in Creative Writing (see below)then went to the cafewith two of the others- I thought it would make a change to what I usually do and thenI saw HIMthe EX he ...

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  • something about astronauts and poo

     I stopped going to my dance classas they put the price upand the teacher annoyed mesaying something about English 'not being my first language',when we were going to do some creative writing I don't look English, but I am EnglishI am the product of Italian immigrant parentsBUTmy English ...

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  • Velcro for negatives -Teflon for positives

    Today was the last tree of lifeI feel sadandwish that it didn't have to endand last week was intensewith lots of emotionandthis week is the rounding up session- where we reflect on the past 5wks read more

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  • we need people and love

    It is week five of the tree of life.My tree has become taller, and I'm now working on the floor!I have stuck leaves on the branches.I now need more fruits and flowers.On the last week, there will be some 'tree dancing'(!) and maybe even some tree hugging?The group has become quite friendly! read more

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  • child free

    So, today, listened to women talking about not having childrenon the radiobeing child freeeither through choice, or deliberatelylike meMostly,I've not wanted a childI was always nervy and shy and unsure of myselfas a childand a teenI thought I wouldn't cope read more

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  • loneliness of long-term carer (HOPES-DREAMS-WISHES)

    Oh, the loneliness of the long-term carer!have been a carer for about 30yrsor morehave lost track of my HOPESDREAMSWISHESAs a child I dreamed of being a dancer.Later, as an adult, I wanted, so badly, to be an artist.(I still do)Sometimes I dream of being a writer- but perhaps I lack the discipline? read more

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  • don't want to be me- in this life

    hmm...yesterdaylots of weird stuff happened-someone hacked into messengerand left some rude messageson facebook(my cousin contacted meand told me)I think I know how it happened-I must have forgotten to log outon a shared computer-I will have to be more careful in ...

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  • a strange and scary place

    the tree of lifewas developed in Zimbabweas a wayto tell storiesto make people feel strongerthe first weekROOTSwhere you come fromfamily historythe second weekGROUNDwhere are you now?talked to two ladies-one from Indiaone from Iranthis country can be a ...

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  • falling for an artist- the good, the bad, and the ugly

    don’t-fall-in-love-with-an-artist NEVER marry an Artist: I fell for an artist- please don't do as I have doneand if, by chance, you do-be preparedand heed my advicesee below for my comprehensive advice on said the topic  THE GOOD PART(S)it was excitingandpassionatehe put me in ...

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  • too quiet- for comfort- whose?

    people tell me that I'm too quietand shyI used to hate speaking in publicI still dobut it's not as badas it wasI like my own companyI feel over-whelmed sometimesby too much noiseand too much conversationand too much happeninglike in crowdsor partiesor concertsI don't like loud peopleI don't like being ...

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  • the tree of life

    the other day  I went to a workshopabout the tree of life seeing the tree as a metaphor for my lifethis week we started with the soil this is to do with the presentwhere I am now I am pretty stableand comfortable I have friends and things to dowe had to talk to the person next to us
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  • daft crush on my therapist

    I had a daft crush on my therapistit seemed harmless, at the time, but it inhibited meI felt conscious of the way I looked-and how I soundedhow would this work?! I felt that I should leave Maybe I should tell himbut I didn'tI thought it would pass When I ...

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  • feel trapped

    grrr....don't want to callmizzy p!this is crazyhave just been to a dance classand feel loose and happyand nowI feel tense again-but am supposed to call her tonightshould stop emailing heras every time I doshe nags me about getting a mobilehow do I get out of it?don't want to hurt her feelingsBUTshe brings me downshe zaps my energyhave to think of something!M is still not wellwith his shoulder-I guess ...

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  • bonkers dream

    last nighthad the most bonkers dreamwas in a theatrethere was a musical onwith lots of noiseand colourful costumesmy sister and my cousin were sitting at the backbut my seat was in front of them-some wayawayand I couldn't find it!I got lost, and ended up on stage, on a bedthen, a couple got on stageand kept placing a real baby, in a nappy
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  • bad behaviour

    Please Note: This piece contains references to domestic abuse

    My relationship with Mis mostly goodwe fightwe bickerbut it's nothing seriousat the moment he's trying my patiencehe has sprained his armhe has a frozen shoulderhe is grumpy and can't go out muchyesterdaywe did go somewherewe got a cab thereand a taxi backReggae, Bluesand Soul experiencewith two London based musicianswe had a good timeeven thoughthe band was cancelledwe went to the park, nearbywe had ...

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  • every time we meet- she wants more and more from me

    hmmm...have problems with nutty ms psent her an email today-as I felt sorry for herM has upset herI think he was rudehe told herthat she can still see mebut I have to look after him!he has no businesssaying that to her- or anyone!BUTshe did ask me to do her shopping for herat KTthat time I met her for tai chiand when I texted herand said'Sorry can't ...

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  • empty and low

    Hmm...have been thinking about my relationship with Mr C.he was my loverwe had an affairfor 17yrsit seems a long time ago now, but it's been about 5yrssince we split upor rather,he dumped meI often think about himeven though he treated me so badlyhe could be kindand very charming-there are things I missbut there were times when he wasemotionally abusivehe would say thingsthat were not quite rightor put me downhe would complement meon my looksbut didn't ...

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  • sore tits

    ha hatodayplayed Jengaand Pictionarywith SN and Mand??? the young girl-forgot her name!ate lunch in gardenat the centrem gets his course- a music coursewith a guideso I don't have to gowhich meansI get some time offbut now he's at home with a bad armand I have to do shopping with him!it's so tiring looking after him-I feel so lonelywish I could get my lover (mr c) backhad breast ...

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  • today went to talk

    today went to talkwent to talk about healthy relationshipswhat are your expectations?noted that I feel other peopleexpect too much from meand feel pressure to pleaseeveryonefeel over-burdenedand become resentfulmary jane expected me to do her shoppingfreddy bear complained about the dirty sinkfeel angryfeel guiltygot chattywith two women therepinched some sandwichesfrom the people at the conference next door to usthat was cheeky!also, ...

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  • new year

    So the New Year A time for renewalA time to take stockA time for changeA time to ditch the old stuff I drag my favourite coatout of the wardrobe I wander around the same placesthinking of you they're changed I cling to precious memoriesWilling myself to go back knowingfull well I can't knowing the time for change must come 

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  • need to take that risk

    Why this? Why now? Why not?Feel mad as I often fail.Or often feel misunderstood.Or I don't know what to say, or how to say it.Deep huh?I so often end up getting into a fight with myself- if you know what I mean.My life seems daft.Not sure why.Maybe I need a change.Or a challenge.Stuff is too easy, peasy.Well..Kinda got bored with therapy- so now I have only myself to blame- in that, I am in control ...

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