Are you ok?
Are you ok? Three words that have an obvious answer after this past week. No I'm not ok!! I spent 4 hours at a police station giving a video statement about my abuse as a child. I had to tell me family and friends what had happened to me so that my support circle was clued up (granted not in as much detail but still god damn difficult) Im mentally, physically and emotionally drained and ...read more
Get over it.....What have you got to be depressed about? those 2 phrases seriously get my back up!! If I knew the answers I wouldn't be feeling the way I do! People really think its super simple and it really isn't, I don't think they realise that my brain is completely fogged, it feels like Spaghetti Junction in there! I don't want to feel like this but if I could stop it I would!read more
Health in Mind
I'm currently volunteering for the charity Health in Mind (ironic huh) but I actually love it!! I have the freedom to arrange these really cool events, the office staff are amazing and I love being there. I feel relaxed and at home. I'm so glad that I have found something that makes me want to get up in the morning and that I actually have some self worth.............. now if only I could find a ...read more
OK so the past 24 hours have been a bit of a whirlwind but a huge step in the right direction for me. After 10+ years of suffering in silence I am now ready to report the childhood abuse that happened to me.......................... and you know whats really strange I actually feel nothing. I haven't cried, regressed, screamed, shouted, etc....... instead I have been cool, calm and collected. I don't know whether this is because ...read more
Is this ok?
You know when there's certain things in your life that happen and you're not sure how you should be feeling?? Take my last post for example, with everything going on (although not alot happening atm as people still need telling before I start the process) I should be feeling scared, nervous, upset..........................well its how I think I should be feeling HOWEVER this morning I woke up in a fab mood and I'm all smiley and ...read more
One Thing After Another
So I have done the hard stuff in relation to my child abuse, just waiting for the phone call to say he has been arrested, and I'm not the most patient person so this is torture, but knowing it's coming is putting a positive spin on it all. Although still don't feel real, I still feel that this has all been a dream so kind of need the phone call just to clarify that it ...read more