• Artificial Intelligence

    BIt by bit, atom by atom, I'm being broken down. Double helix separating, tearing me apart. I don't feel human anymore. Half robot half zombie, I stumble on. I reject human contact, their complexities scare and bemuse me. I'm impervious to their emotional states, or so I think. Wires cross, my artificial intelligence short circuits. Numbness giving way to the grasp of pins and needles. Brain and body overloaded, my faulty wiring can't cope with the ...

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    Tags:
    #surviving
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  • Gambler's Anonymous

    I spin the wheel, there it goes, my turbulent mood dependant on the speed and force. It lands on the red. I debt again. The anger subsides as the negativity consumes. I gambled my sanity and lost again. Left to chance, I repeat the cycle over again. Deeper in debt I go. I talk the talk and walk the walk of others, standing in their shadows, hoping the bailiffs stay away. Unnoticed I go on. ...

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    Tags:
    #recovery,
    #resilience,
    #wellbeing
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  • Runaway

    RunawayLeave the thread of that thought behind.RunawayRun till you're out of breath, lost peace of mind, all sense of time.RunawayRun until your muscles ache, to a destination barren.RunawayRun until you're threadbare, no longer covered in your ugly despair.RunawayRun to unavoid, feel the thread gather momentum with every stride.RunawayRun until your emotions drain, numb to the touch as they knit together inside.RunawayRun right back to then, start all over again.RunawayTake a deep breath and count to ten.RunawayLess ...

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    Tags:
    #journey,
    #avoidance
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  • Positivity

    Positivity is an activitywith limited proclivity. The fragitity of it's anonymityregularly leads to negativity. The insensitivity of my irrationalitycompromises my creativity. It is my responsibility to embrace myvulnerability and share my authenticity. Mine is a world of possibility with my newsusceptibility to this feeling of positivity. 

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    Tags:
    #recovery,
    #positivity,
    #changingperspectives
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  • Strength

    Strength, it sounds solid enough. It can hold its own in a battle of words, with its g curling round like the bulging bicep of an experienced weightlifter. Strength. The word falters on my tongue. My lips move to push it out but my body retracts the sound, refusing its escape. It’s too heavy, I can’t hold it up. Instead it lingers in my vocabulary unused, in a graveyard of words left unspoken. Those words ...

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    Tags:
    #recovery,
    #wellbeing,
    #strength,
    #keepgoing
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  • A story Unfolding

    A Story UnfoldingBefore me lies a closed book, pages tattered around the edges.Words submitted in black and white cement it’s story through the ages.The cover wanes and creaks weighing heavy on what lies beneath.The sole protector fronting perfection, defending pages from fingers that crumple and crease.The story itself is incomplete.Retracted sentiments through success and defeat.The beginnings morph past middles and absorb the endings.Devouring plots with intentions pending.Others penned the start you see.Unseeing eyes forging misery.The ...

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    Tags:
    #recovery,
    #journey,
    #survival,
    #mystory
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  • Ode to the Active Listener

    Ode to the  Active ListenerLend me your ear, let me exercise it for you. It looks in good shape,  can it clarify my obscure?Activate muscles so they grab  hold of my words.Their weightiness drags me, yet you hold them up.Vibrating  through mouth from internal to external.No longer just sounds, they float on eternal.Your ear gives them life,  it’s drum beats to their time.Connects them to heart , so that you catch my rhyme.Empathy lent, communication grows.Relief ...

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    Tags:
    #recovery,
    #surviving,
    #listen
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  • Writers Block

    Writers BlockI wrote in invisible ink. The story only given life when the shadows appeared. I could hide, consumed by their greed.I tried in pencil. Words would flow and then stick. This stuckness gave a solid feeling to my invisibility. I erased the words and all at once the story went from something to nothing, like art imitating life, not good enough to show. Not wanting to relive the painful highlights. I wandered back to ...

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    Tags:
    #recovery,
    #perseverance,
    #movingon,
    #perspectives
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  • Past, Present, and Future

    I stand on the sidelines watching it unfold, the tug of war. On one side stands the past. Dishevelled, tired, and tormented. The other side, a vague image of the future. A hologram flickering in the atmosphere. Who will win this tug of war? Who has the biggest pool of strength? The past me is weak. It steals its strength from the present, freeloading on my thoughts. The future me seems unclear of what ...

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    Tags:
    #resilience,
    #motivation,
    #future,
    #strength
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  • Finding hope in an ending

    The end of the beginning is the beginning of the end. The end always seems so final, cut throat, no in between. Is being in an ending, ending being? Endings can be hard to let go of. My being distorts, blocking the beginnings by clutching onto the endings. Nevertheless, the endings happen, they fall like sand through my fingers. They are blown by the wind and land where they need to. Starting a beginning is ...

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    Tags:
    #newperspective,
    #endings,
    #hope,
    #newbeginnings
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  • A storm always passes

    It's dark out there. The clouds approach overhead, looming like soldiers waiting to strike. I am stuck, unable to move, sinking in the claws of the sludge. My mind has gone from panick to resignation. I've tried to get out but I just don't have the strength. The weather's closing in. There's a quietness in the air, the calm before the storm. There it is, the drip, drip, drip from the clouds above. It's as if ...

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    Tags:
    #recovery,
    #journey,
    #change,
    #unstuck
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  • Today's Ashes are Tomorrow's Soil

    It's burnt, burnt to a crisp.There is nothing left but the fragile ashes, nothing distinguishable.The last remnants carried by the smoke, floating in the ether somewhere.The ashes are left behind, the faint memory of what was.They are dumped, discarded in a heap.What a waste!There is so much potential.Don't bury the memories, don't leave them to rot.Learn from them or cherish them.Use them to breathe life ...

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    Tags:
    #recovery,
    #newperspective,
    #resilience,
    #journey
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  • The adventure to calm

    Walking, one foot in front of the other with no destination in mind. My footprints are left firmly behind in the sand. The breeze of a fresh wind surrounds me. It wraps me in it's icy blanket, blocking out the noise of the world around me. I stand gazing into the far reaching sea in front of me. I am still in body and in mind, as I listen calmly to the waves crashing ashore. ...

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    Tags:
    #journey,
    #wellbeing
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